6 priceless things about creative expression

ONE: It doesn’t matter the medium (crayons, oils, acting, musical instrument, writing/journaling, singing in the shower, dancing in the living room… ).

It doesn’t matter the quality or outcome.

TWO. It’s all about the journey of processing and releasing our emotions, traumas, wounds, fears… experiences.

THREE. It’s meditative, inviting you to be present, minimizing the external and internal noises of distraction.

FOUR: While being in the moment, you'll connect deeper with yourself, leading to understanding.

FIVE: It’s also better than dumping our hurt onto people we love and/or hate.

SIX: It also works a charm when expressing joy and gratitude.

Art has been the most effective, impactful therapy I can think of. It was in fact an integral strategy in recovering from the darkest of dark places. Learn more in my book PINK IS THE COLOR OF EMPATHY, which takes a deep look at mental health.

Vital Germaine

What are we really looking for as humans?

What are we really looking for as humans?

Maslo’s hierarchy of needs

A life void of deep, meaningful connection is empty and lonely. Authentic and genuine connection is harder and harder to find, we focus on soothing the lack of connection with shiny, social media-inspired rewards; likes, follows, admirers, being trendy, having status, addictions etc.

Through social media awareness or woke-ism, as to what others are doing, thinking, feeling, experiencing and subscribing too etc, we either find relatability (our tribe) or we face division. We do not find connection.

Connection can happen organically as two people or more meet randomly or by design. We can invite and incite connection. That means being authentic and showing the world who you are… therefore attracting those who are genuinely like-minded. But that is scary! Attraction is only the invitation to the dance. Now it’s time to actually dance and connect. Let your hair down (insecurities and fear), lose the inhibitions and shake that ass in the way you really want to. It’s unique to you.

The Six C’s of Connection

1. Curiosity - a strong desire to know or learn something, in particular, regarding who a person is. What’s their story?

2. Commonality - focusing on our similarities not our differences brings us together.

3. Caring - making people feel safe, valued and honored… EMPATHY… enables us to transcend to a higher level of consciousness driven my awareness and love.

4. Collaboration - the act of compromising for the bigger picture. This doest not mean sacrificing or violating your core values. It’s finding the areas where we can work together or thinking along mutually beneficial avenues.

5. Character - the mental or moral qualities distinctive to an individual… in showing our true character, other see who we are. If we show up authentically, people can make an informed decision as to wether or not we are a good fit. Sadly, the world is filled with greedy, selfish individuals wearing masks for pure personal gain. It’s hard to connect with somebody who is playing a game of one-sided gain.

6. Communication - there are no meaningful relationships without effective communication. This is potentially the number one reason why connections break down. Learn more.

If you have found relationships that are deep and meaningful, congratulations… stay calm and carry on nurturing them. If you haven’t, it means something needs to change. Either it’s you or your circle.

Let’s connect, even if superficially to begin with.

Vital Germaine

The simplest and most impactful way to inspire team creativity is…

Sometimes we look too far, dig too deep to achieve goals. Employers and leaders want to get as much value from their teams as possible. This often comes in the form of incentives such as more pay or empowering new job title and description. The best way is to engage them. How do we engage employees? Make them feel valued.

The best way to make them feel valued is to give them a voice by creating an environment or culture within which they feel safe to express and contribute who they are. That includes their creativity. Invite them to share and become a part of the process from ideation to delivery. People nurture their ideas with utmost care, pride and enthusiasm.

It’s all about feeling safe: seen, HEARD and understood.

Avoid shutting people down who express ideas. They will quickly become silent and disengaged. Disengaged employees (commonly referred to as “quiet quitters”) cost the US Economy $500 billion a year. Another metric is 18% of an employees annual salary per company, per employee. Simply because they didn’t feel heard (valued).

Vital Germaine, President of ENGAGE Teams 360

Is Anger a Bad Thing?

Anger is something we all feel and experience. Anybody that will claim to not get angry is, well… hard to believe. My calling them liars might make them… angry.

Anger is an emotional response to something that causes a feeling of being disrespected, undermined, insulted, violated, taken advantage of, abused, or lacking control over our environment. It is a relative emotion. What makes me angry may appear trivial to you, and vice-versa.

Such an intense emotional response is a healthy flag that allows us to gauge ourselves and how we are perceived and treated. The trigger can be an old wound, or “trauma response” which has now become a common answer to undermine a person’s anger. It can signal that our core values have been violated. It lets us know what’s important to us and what is worth protecting and fighting for. We all get angry for different reasons, yet we are inclined to judge and condemn others when they get angry, forgetting we get angry too (empathy). Nonetheless, it is more often than not a response to immediate or long-term pain that has been unresolved.

The most important thing, I believe, is that anger is not negative. It’s a perfect normal and healthy human response to frustration or pain. We shouldn’t taboo it. We shouldn’t shame it. We should embrace and allow it to be. It’s not about getting angry, it’s about what we do with that anger. We shouldn’t suppress it, because it will fester and in time erupt into potential rage. And that’s when we say and do stuff we regret.

If you lose control of your anger, then I suggest physical activities like working-out or sports, creative endeavors or meditation. Experience my “calming” meditation.

We can leverage it as a great motivator, or we can use it to inflict pain unto others. The key is to not let anger control you. It should be your friend. You are human, so don’t deny the experience due to warped societal norms and pressures. Out-of-control anger turns into hate, and hate is not healthy.

BTW, “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.” - In the words of Elie Wiesel.

Vital Germaine

Finding YOU

What drives you? No, I mean really, what is your deepest, most self-defining/self-preserving emotional and psychological need/want? The answer to that question will set you free.

Go deeper than the "superficial/material" desires like, money or status. The true answer lies deeper. It's scary to look oneself in the eyes until you see your own soul for all its glories and fears. Down there, deeply hidden lies the answer to YOU… combine that answer with what you are good at, what you love doing and what brings value, and you will find your IKIGAI.

It might take a minute! It might take years, but the journey is worth it.

In Chapter 20 of my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST, I share a very impactful self-discovery activity to truly give you a starting point to dig deeper into who you are and what drives you.

Vital Germaine

The KAIZEN-Driven Mindset, why it's a game changer

SUCCESS IN ANY CAPACITY IS NOT RANDOM.

During my 5+ years as an acrobat and team captain in Cirque du Soleil, I observed and observed and learned so much about individual and organizational success.

Like every amazing Cirque production, they are not random. The success is directed, choreographed, inspired and produced. It means optimizing each and every aspect built on the KAIZEN mindset.

Each amazing trick that has made you gasp during a cirque show took talent, courage, risk, vision, planning communication, creativity and commitment. Once a show has been “finished” that’s when part two of the success journey begins. And without part 2, there is no Cirque.

The commitment is a KAIZEN thing.

Kaizen is a Japanese term meaning change for the better or continuous improvement. Kaizen sees improvement in productivity as a gradual and methodical process. It was created by Masaaki Imai, a Japanese organizational theorist and management consultant. In observing and studing the Toyota Production System and its Lean principles who deducted that, their success was driven by a mindset of constant optimization (on all levels).

The Cirque culture parallels the Kaizen philosophy. Each dance step, acrobatic flip, lighting cue etc. had potential to become better. The journey is never-ending. It doesn’t take great effort, only a consistent commitment to learning and growth. Done over time, the results become incredible.

Think how much you could change and reach higher if you intentionally introduced Kaizen into your personal and professional life. Small increments of growth lead to massive transformation.

Brendan Buchard said, “First, it is an intention. Then a behavior. Then a habit. Then a practice. Then a second nature. Then it is simply who you are.”

Begin the Kaizen mindset today and you’ll be amazed where you’ll be a year from now. Happy travels.

Learn more about Kaizen in my new book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST.

Vital Germaine.

Top 3 Reasons Why Relationships End

With Valentine’s around the corner, what a great time to talk about romantic relationships. Avoid these 3 things and inspire your romance to blossom.

1. POOR COMMUNICATION

Relationships ultimately end due to poor communication. Clear, concise and effective communication is so hard to achieve. The inevitable discrepancies between what was said and what was heard is the culprit.

“The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
”

— George Bernard Shaw.

• Is what was said a clear reflection of what was intended? What was said and what was meant are oftentimes different.

• Perception. Different people perceive communication differently. This is where communication gets really tricky because perception is reality. This means there is no right or wrong… just different. Not to mention, semantics.

• Did we hear what was said? Sometimes we add a new narrative to what was actually said based on our mindset and emotional state at the time. Communication can trigger specific emotions that can “warp reality”… we sometimes fill in new meanings to what we heard or understood. Revert back to perception. It ultimately comes down to LISTENING.

  Beyond words, tone of voice and body language (Albert Merhabian), there is the art of listening. There are in fact 5 types of listening:

  1. Ignoring

  2. Pretend (if you have kids you’ll know exactly what this is)

  3. ???

  4. ???

  5. ???

  #5 is the ultimate in listening ability.

  In my online communication course, I talk about listening in great depth. I break down communication to 6 principals that are designed to help people REACH HIGHER in personal and professional relationships.

  LEARN MORE ABOUT REACHING HIGHER THROUGH COMMUNICATION

2. UNDEFINED / UN-MET EXPECTATIONS

• Disappointment: When expectations are not clearly communicated, the result is usually disappointment.

• Resentment: When disappointment is not addressed, it slowly festers, leading to a build up of resentment.

• Anger: At some point, that resentment turns into anger. Anger becomes aggressive or even mean communication. Regretful things are often said.

3. LACK OF RESPECT

Disrespect unto itself will quickly end a relationship. It’s a dish that is always served from a cold, heartless kitchen that lacks empathy. Disrespect comes in many forms with probably the most ruthless being infidelity. Infidelity can be sexual or emotional. It’s hard coming back from this wound.

Disrespect can be the act of:

• Undermining your partner, friend or colleague.

• Not honoring or protecting their interest.

• Not supporting, encouraging or elevating them.

Respect means, I SEE YOU. If I see YOU, I acknowledge YOU… your needs, expectations etc. It is perhaps the ultimate form of love.

Life and relationships are rarely ONE specific thing, but rather a collective of overlapping events and situations that create a reality. This blog breaks down the reasons behind failed relationships, but keep in mind, the reasons are a combination and variation of these 3 factors in random order and muddled reasons. Apply what helps and learn from your experiences.

PS. These same principals apply in the workplace.

I'd love to hear about your experiences and perspectives. Please leave a comment.

Vital Germaine

DISCOVER MY ROMANTIC ART COLLECTION.

There are 3 main factors that deny you of your inner genius.

Your inner genius is connected to your inner child. Your inner child is the key to your authentic freedom and empowerment. The problem is that your inner genius is suffocated into submission as you age. Why? How?

1.     Convention and conformity molds us into bots with a heartbeat, calcifying our inner genius, stifling our uniqueness.

Look at our outdated education system. We sit in rows. Walk in lines. Learn a curriculum that a committee has deemed the best for everybody. Conventional education, despite its need and benefits, tells us what to think… mandates us to fit in. Formal education tells us what to think rather than how to think independently. 

2.     Parents and adults who live in fear bombard their children with restricting orders. According to Gallup, children hear on average, 232 no’s or negative comments a day. By the time they reach their teens and early adulthood, those 232 daily parental no’s will have molded those kids into driving in very specific lanes afraid to disrupt, afraid to imagine, afraid to be themselves. Those lanes become filled with worker bees and ants who don’t know how to think independently. It’s a boring, non-imaginative lane that provides a sense of belonging… a basic human need according to Maslo (Hierarchy of needs). So, we comply.

If you are happy with being a worker bee, stay calm and carry on. But what if there was more meaning and purpose to your life than that which your parents made you believe? Are you living their limiting beliefs and expectations?

I understand the intention of most parents. They want to protect their children from harm, danger or ridicule. They want their kids to succeed… but in a selfish way the parent feels is the better way. But is that way in the best interest of that kid or projection? Too many parents prevent their children becoming who they were meant to be… themselves.

“Don’t climb on that.”

“That’s not good for you.”

“Why can’t you be like everybody else?”

“Stop that!”

“No, no, no, no, no!”

By the time we become adults, our organic and authentic dreams and aspirations will have faded. We submit because we have disconnected from the endless possibilities we once possessed as children.

3.     The fear of failure prevents us from taking risks, being different, trying the new. Social media has magnified this collective hypnosis. We select trending music on our posts to get more likes rather than choosing what we really like and what we really want to express. We copy paste the most popular choreography on Tik Tok. We observe what everybody else is doing and conclude that that is how things should be done to be successful.

$6 Million Question!

If there were no consequences to your actions, choices, behaviors or dreams, would you be doing what you are today?

Living your true genius takes courage. Boatloads of audacity. But it’s in you. It’s not too late to become who you were meant to be and who you once dreamed of becoming, despite what your parents or society told you.

Your inner child will set you free and enable you to fly if you connect and listen.

Vital Germaine

President AIM TO WIN, Inc

I Like Big Hugs and I Cannot Lie... why you should too.

The act of hugging falls under the sense of touch. It is such an underrated sense. Many humans are deprived of touch and it impacts their mental and emotional state incredibly.

Touch therapy is provided to premature babies who demonstrate an exponential increase in development and recovery. The same impact is present in every day life. It is a healing and motivating agent we can all share at any given time.

During a recent book signing, following a keynote presentation for approximately 800 attendees, I was surprised at the amount of people who wanted and initiated a hug. Modern society is lacking in warm and authentic connection.

Each hug caused a positive ripple effect, inspiring stronger and healthier connections. They became infectious.

Beyond the health benefits, hugging makes us more approachable, relatable and trust worthy. A good hug is the quickest and deepest way to connect, letting the other person know you care.

Research shows that when we trust somebody, more oxytocin is released, adding to the existing amount. The hug makes the other person not only feel good about us, but feel good about themselves.

BENEFITS OF OXYTOCIN AT WORK: Teams that caused or encouraged oxytocin release in each other were more productive and innovative, and enjoyed the tasks they were doing more, than those whose brains did not connect to their teammates. (Research by Paul J. Zak: ). Your company will experience lower absenteeism due to health or mood related issues. Your culture will be infused with enthusiasm, optimism and a general sense of corporate unity.

#hug a friend or colleague today

The feel good factor is contagious and will impact your culture, your customers and of course your bottom line, if not simply those you care for, including yourself.

Corporate America is missing out on the power of hugs. Just make sure the hug is not "creepy" or too long. Men, be aware. Ladies, if a male hug feels uncomfortable or you question the givers intentions, communicate that. It's relative and open to interpretation. Ultimately, if your intentions of sharing a hug are genuine, authentic and healthy, it is a win win.

If no action is taken, then it becomes an HR thing OR… we could bring back the old-school Hollywood face slap????

HORMONAL BENEFITS OF A HUG

When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies via the pituitary gland. That hormone release lowers our cortisol levels (hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease).

1. Hugs lower our heart rates

2. Hugs enhance relationships

3. Hugs can increase your self-esteem

4. Hugs can lower stress 

5. Hugs can lower the risk of heart disease 

6. Hugs can boost immunity

Stay healthy my friends.

When it comes to intimate relationships, one may need more than a hug. It then becomes a cuddle. This is one of the safest moments in any intimate relationship. It says, I care for you, you are safe here. And that is beautiful and powerful.

A HUG A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY.

THANK YOU,

Vital Germaine

President ENGAGEteams360.

5 Decision-Making Tips

There is a "safe" strategy to optimize the outcome of your risks and minimize your losses. It’s a simple 5-Step roadmap.

1. EVALUATION: Compare and weigh out your best and worst-case-scenarios. Clearly define and understand the situation and the consequences.  Take the succesful Blackjack player. He/she, takes all aspects of risk into consideration before deciding to stick with the hand that’s been dealt or not dealt. What are the odds that the next card is what is desired? Before taking risks in your industry or business, ask such questions as:

• How influential will the value of that change be and how will the result impact your business, industry or economic landscape?

• Will the risk be too drastic or dramatic for the market to embrace?

• Do you have the time, the resources and an effective marketing strategy to subdue consumer resistance or confusion? Timing, packaging, and education of target audiences, play key roles in success or failure of any business venture, service or product.

• What can you live with in terms of loss? How much money is at stake and can you afford to lose that amount.

• What do market research percentages/data suggest? If the odds are in your favor, take the risk… consult step 2 to increase the odds or success.

2. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Have a pulse on what the market is ready to embrace. If you have invested time in bullet point 1 (evaluation), then the accumulated data combined with your awareness of the market, customer purchasing behaviors and trends, will put you on track to succeeding. Be acutely aware that the market might resist regardless of how incredible the innovation is. Take into account how well your team is equipped to share the message. How much conviction and resources do you have up your sleeve to counter-act potential consumer alienation.

3. INTUITION: The great trailblazers and innovators connect with, and trust their intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses (market research in business). The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut or heart simply know. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. On a holistic level, the heart is connected to the source of universal knowledge. Police detective refer to this as a hunch… something they not only trust, but obey. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power.

4. ADAPTATION: Innovation is a progressive journey that demands strategic change and adaptation. The willingness to fail along that journey is a must... there is always a period of incubation and a learning curve to navigate. Risk and innovation require patient nurturing while the product is sculpted. Without an ability to adapt, all and any risks are borderline reckless and ill-advised.

5. VISION: Let’s state the obvious. Without a clear vision (or mission), the venture is a train wreck in the making. Innovation offers no guarantees, though a plan or roadmap shortens the learning curve and the journey. Your vision should align with your core values. Integrity is a trait that delivers long term results. Your brand strength depends on it. Integrity inspires loyalty. Apple have had unsuccessful product launches, but years of integrity and honoring their vision, keeps clients coming back for the new innovation. Their clients know that Apple will quickly adapt and make it right. Think back to Microsoft’s Vista (a nightmare that took too long to fix).

The objective of all innovation is value creation. The outcome is optimized by minimizing consumer pain points and elevating the experience. It’s a tough and not so forgiving world out there. Be smart in your risk-taking.

To experience a deeper dive into the topic of risk and innovation, read the revised version of INNOVATION MINDSET - it includes new chapters and improved content. Learn to leverage your inner genius, reach higher and impact your leadership, cultural and personal mindset.

Vital Germaine

The Dark Side of Empathy

Don’t be fooled! Empathy is not always a benevolent trait. Like all human traits and abilities, they can be used for good or for evil.

The gift of empathy can in fact be a highly dangerous and powerful skill when it comes to the dark arts of manipulation. Part of the reason for its stealthy and sorrowful seductiveness is that people simply don’t see the dark empath coming. They don’t see it coming because it’s so well cloaked in goodness. We assume that somebody who is empathetic understands us, so they are a friend. FALSE. Not always.

A cunning empath, or dark empath, can be as harmful, if not more so than a narcissist who allegedly lacks empathy. The only difference between the two is that the narcissist doesn’t know, feel, or understand guilt, shame, remorse, or regret. Despite having an abundance of empathy and the ability to feel the emotions of others, the sneaky and slimy, dark empath, knows all too well what their prey is feeling. However, they themselves don’t actually feel. Manipulation experts at their finest, cloaked in sheep’s wool. The dark empath and narcissist are opposite sides of the same trick coin. Heads or tails? You always loose… unless, you remove yourself from the theatre piece you were cast in.

Did you know?

According to, former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss, FBI agents use empathy during interrogations! They call it tactical empathy, intentionally using concepts from neuroscience to influence emotions.

Red Flags Someone Is a Dark Empath

• Dark, if not twisted sense of humor.

• Demonstrate heightened sensitivity.

• It’s all about their wants and needs.

• Low self-esteem.

• Experience mental health challenges.

• Leverage your feelings as a weapon against you.

• Experts at using or taking advantage of other people.

Remember, empathy is the highest form of intelligence. And that, is power, good and/or bad. I hope you choose this superpower for good. Empathy not only changes lives, it saves lives. The beauty and power of empathy only come through the giving and communicating of empathy. Make sure that your empathetic generosity establishes healthy boundaries to honor YOU, too.

Know thyself. Know others by seeing them. Become a high-value person in a world that is often too cold, indifferent and disconnected. Don’t be tempted to go to the dark side.

Vital Germaine

Buy the revised version of “Pink is the color of empathy”

Ending Racism? Is it possible?

Where does that journey begin, considering slavery officially ended on June 19th, 1865, the date on which enslaved people in Galveston, Texas, finally received the news they were free. Or did it?

Adding the positive evolution of racism, we had the Civil Rights movement that promoted and inspired additional change. Ending racism is nonetheless, probably impossible. However, minimizing its degrading and oppressive nature is possible.

Despite clear evidence of systemic racism, and the existence of modern slavery, many will argue that racism no longer exists. If you don’t believe me learn about the school to prison pipeline for black males. If that isn’t enough, read the 13th amendment: Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

The odds are too heavily stacked for racism to survive. The ultimate decision lies within the heart of an individual… YOU.

Why? Because, love, honor, respect, and dignity can’t be legislated. Governments and laws heavily influence a society, but they aren’t the only driving force. Social structures can be broken down into feudal system type pyramid that include: education/schools, churches, law enforcement, judges, prison systems, financial institutions, housing and jobs: yes, the systemic aspect. But without individual to perpetuate the cycle, racism as we know it could be numbed to the point that it has little impact. Maybe it will one day be trendy to be anti hate.

Most social systems that have been driven by greed and corruption (Belgian Congo, in particular, which cost an estimated 10 million Congolese lives between 1885 and 1908, and after Belgian's King Leopold II terror reign. The main reasons were from killings, famine and disease). Society either realizes that what is happening is no longer acceptable and economic or political sanctions are imposed (Apartheid in South Africa), or rebellions spawn en mass. It sometimes takes a single soul to topple injustice (Ghandi, Rosa Parks etc).

Regardless of the uprisings, changes in legistlation, racism will be forever present in our society. It’s a question of what are you willing to do, say and stand up for to make racism as ineffective as possible. If we succeed, then we shall have to wait and see if an, Animal Farm, (George Orwell) situation arises, by where the new leader, (a pig named Napoleon), overthrows an “evil” human ruler, to begin the cycle all over again as he oinks where the new upper echelons and lower dregs of society belong.

I still believe and live with optimism that ALL men were created equal… let’s rephrase that to all HUMANS to be inclusive of women and other modern variations… oh crap, that’s another blog!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

— Gandhi

Ending racism is not the same objective as having representation. So, I don’t agree that ending racism/sexism is the goal. That cause takes away from the value of representation… something that has not yet been achieved (in select and isolated situations, yes), but not as a standard. Representation will eliminate the ability to inflict cultural/systemic racism/sexism. What individuals do is up to them… “You can’t legislate love.” Denzel Washington. But you can legislate against policies that are oppressive. In other words, a racist can hate me all he wants as an individual, but if decision making is diverse (representation) then that individual hate is neutralized and therefor inconsequential because it has no power. 

The most simple fix is to increase or Empathy Quotient. When filled with an abundance of empathy, it becomes very hard to hate and oppress. It’s the great neutralizer and game-changer.

LEARN MORE ABOUT EMPATHY in my book

Vital Germaine

Are you really being empathetic?

We may think we are being empathetic, but most times we are not, regardless of our pure intentions. A common empathy faux pas is sharing a related incident we experienced. This may well communicate relatability, but unless we quickly shift the focus back to them and their story, we are not being empathetic.

The odds are that when somebody is sharing something painful, they first and foremost want you to simply be there with them! This means we must fully commit to making it entirely about that other person’s experience, perspective and any additional circumstances they have endured for it to be true empathy. The trap is we are influenced by our own personal agenda, needs and expectations, so we listen with every intent to understand, but we still view if from our personal perspective and may offer advice (coaching), a pep talk, or even become their motivational cheerleader. All of which bring little value to the person in need of empathy. If you are coaching or chearleading, you are not listening for their benefit. You are also not understanding their heart-ache or discomfort, but rather expressing how your current mood is optimistic. So think twice when being positive as a response to a pain-point somebody has shared. Be there for them simply by being present.

Empathy is not necessarily about resolving. It’s about feeling and being there in the way that that person needs you. A good suggestion to truly to help is to ask the person one of the following questions:

1. How can I be of value?

2. Would you like me to just listen and hold space for you?

3. Would you like to me to share some advice or perspective?

Ask these types of questions in YOUR way so that it comes across as authentic rather than scripted from a blog.

Vital Germaine

Is Vulnerability a Strength or Weakness?

The quick answer to this question is that it is both a strength and a weakness. It all depends on how it’s communicated or shared. When shared properly it is extremely powerful. It becomes an agent for deep and meaningful connection. A quality all human beings crave. However, vulnerability can be extremely toxic and manipulative.

Here’s how and why?

Vital Germaine

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How to find your inner genius

Do you feel like you could do more, and become more, yet feel held back? It’s a common mindset. But what exactly is holding you back… other than yourself? Adult programming is the culprit. Everything about adulthood pulls us further and further away from our inner genius.

We are taught to think the same. We are advised to fit in and not be difficult. We are alienated if not vilified for being different; he/she/they are weird. As a result, we build ceilings that imprison our minds. Wouldn’t it be great to feel free and become the truest and best version of you? How do you do that?

It’s simple though not easy.

Your authentic inner child is where your genius lies. It’s been dulled by society. A child hear’s on average 232 “no’s” or negative comments a day on average according to numerous surveys and studies. Breaking that mental and emotional cycle is where you’ll find your wings. Learn more in my book, FLYING BEYOND THE NET.

It’s a daring journey to unlearn everything you’ve been taught by reconnecting with you your inner child; the inner child who has infinite imagination, limitless amounts of hope and enthusiasm. The inner child who sees beyond the stars and who dares dream of the absurd and impossible.

Now the question becomes, how to you leverage that super power?

It’s a process that takes time. There is no magic “matrix” pill. The journey begins with becoming more playful in the way you look at, and do things. Be silly even, as you let go of your adult ego who becomes so afraid to fail or be judged. Think of the toddler learning to walk. There is no shame in falling down while learning to walk. Wheeee. Oops. Let’s go again… and again and again. There is no, “I can’t do this.”

Train yourself to go on more adventures; don’t become Lara Croft or Indiana Jones. Simple things like taking a different route to work and enjoying the new scenery. Become infinitely curious about everything. Cover yourself in paint and laugh about it. Look in the mirror and pull silly faces and make silly noises (not in the office bathroom!). Start imagining stuff… what would it be like to have wings and fly? Where would you go? What would you do? Play, play, play! Dive into Pandora’s box with reckless abandon. Don’t lean over the edge… fall of spectacularly and believe your wings will emerge before you look like Wile E. Coyote splatting at the bottom of the Grand Canyon… hey wait a minute… that would be awesome. Wheeeee.

Your inner child is yelling for you to come back.

To optimize your growth, read one of my books on this topic:

FLYING BEYOND THE NET, leveraging your creativity to grow your wings.

INNOVATION MINDSET, reimagining business, leadership and company culture.

If you agree/disagree, or would like to add to this blog, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

The 7 Ways People Judge Us

Here’s how all people will initially judge you and how you will judge people.

We all make judgment calls when meeting people for the first time. In fact, we decide whether we like somebody within the first seven seconds of meeting them. Sometimes it’s a very intentional decision. Other times it’s on a subconscious level. Whether subconscious or by design, it’s determined by values and biases/programming. They can be cultural, economic, religious etc.

In a utopian world we would perhaps be judged by our character alone (thank you MLK), with our actions rather than words defining who we are. However, learning the content of a person’s character takes time. Many hide behind misleading words and deeds, in particular the narcissists who are experts in misdirection and deceit.

HERE ARE THE 7 WAYS PEOPLE JUDGE US

1. Appearance (clothes, tattoos etc):

   1. I am treated and perceived very differently depending on if I am wearing a suit and tie or a kilt. Both version are the same me. Are you aware of how differently your are perceived and treated based on your clothing? Hair color? Skin color?

      • As a black man I am often quickly judged by that standard.

        • Case in point: I live in the suburbs in a gated community. One day while walking my dog, somebody from the community complimented me on my two dogs. When I told then I lived around the corner they responded with, “Yes I see you all the time. I thought you were a dog walker.” - hmmm? Why would they assume that? I think we know why. Stereotyping or racial profiling is a bitch!

2. Body Language: According to psychologist, Amber Merhabian, body language makes up for 58% percent of communication. The way we walk, our posture… are we slouching, leaning, hunching etc. Are your arms crossed? If you are having a convo with somebody at an event, let’s say, pay attention to where their feet are pointing. If their feet are pointing away from you, or towards the door, it highly likely means they are not interested, or want to leave. Their are endless body language cues to better understand a person and where they are emotionally or mentally. What your body says is more powerful than words. Words only make up for 7% of communication.

3. Facial Experssions: The funny thing about our facial expressions is that half the time we are unaware of what our face is doing. Observe somebody having an argument who is angry. Their facial expressions will give it away; frowning, puckered lips etc. In stark contrast, if they are having a happy and loving conversation, their facial expressions will reveal that emotions and mindset.

4. Tone of voice: Do you talk to a baby or dog the same way you would address a VIP or superior? No. Our tone of voice changes based on how we view that person and the depth of the relationship. Also, whether you end your sentence with an upward or downward inflection will determine how convincing or interesting you are. Cliche example, “typical” Canadiens will end on an upward inflection which demonstrates their polite and apologetic culture. Americans, who stereotypically viewed as bold and direct, if not brash, do not apologize. They are firm, ending on a downward inflection. Begin to observe the naunces in people’s tone of voice. You’l be blown away as to how much is communicated with tone of voice. According to Albert Merhabian, non-verbal communication (tone of voice/facial expressions) make up for 38% of communication.

5. Attitude/Behavior: Attitude is how you react or respond to everything and anything that happens to you or around you. It’s a deep reflection of your character. People will quickly judge you on how they perceive your attitude to be. For the most part, we get an immediate sense of persons attitude based on the previous four bullet points. Over time, the evaluation goes deeper and we observe choices and patterns. A person’s patterns are the best way to understand who they are and who they are not.

6. Energy: According to Nikolas Tesla, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” People will subconsciously pick up on your energy or vibes before you’ve said a word. If your energy is negative, they will potentially avoid or dislike you. Our minds, body and in particular our hearts, emit an electromagnetic field. Other humans pick up on this field. In part because we are all connected and able to tap into the frequency of others. One of the biggest communication give aways are your emotions. Low vibrating energy is negative. Love resonates at a frequency of 852 hz. Joy vibrates at 700 hz. Anger or hate vibrate very as low as 100 hz. Disease vibrates at around 58 hz with colds and flu vibrating at around 57 khz. An average healthy body resonates at around 70 khz. You can elevate this frequency through meditation. Go deeper and you enter the Law of Attraction realm. Is it true?

   We are often attracted to people who vibrate at high frequencies, or those that our simila

7. Intentions: In some ways, #7 is a continuation of #6 as your intentions emit a certain frequency/energy. We often feel if somebody’s intentions are potentially harmful to us. What was the desired outcome by said person based on the action or even non-action?

   According to US Criminal Law, proof of criminal intent (mens rea) is one of two factors required to convict. The other being caught in the act due to sufficient evidence. The better you know a person and the more you have observed and understood their patterns of behavior, the more equipped you will be do understand or even predict their choices, because their intentions will be consistent with their previous behaviors and choices… but good luck proving it, even if your intuition is screaming the truth.

Understanding how you are communicating and what others are saying, seeing and feeling will exponentially improve all your relationships: at home and at work. This awareness can be leveraged for good or bad. That choice is yours.

Having said, that, obey your intuition when a person’s vibes aren’t jiving with you. This usually means there is a profound reason that isn’t yet evident to walk away. Walking away or setting boundaries is not the same as condemning or viewing somebody as lesser than based on…

To learn more take my communication course . It will help you as an individual (parent, lover and friend), as a leader, and even in sales / customer service.

Vital Germaine

President of ENGAGE Teams 360

Have You Ever Felt Judged?

There are 2 types of judgment:

• The first is in the form of a simple evaluation. This focuses on knowledge to make an informed decision, void of harm or detriment.

• The second is about condemning somebody for their choices, tastes, beliefs, actions and core values. This type of judgment inspires a yukky feeling. This is what we’ll focus on in this blog. Because we’ve all been there.

Unless you are a seasoned stoic or incredibly spiritual to the point you have become totally immune from such things as attachment or desire, you will feel the sting of judgement. We instinctually know when we are being judged. And, yes, it’s hard to prove that somebody is judging you. But we know when we are.

The impact of somebody’s judgment will depend on 3 things:

• How aware are you to those judgmental external factors? Because they say that ignorance is bliss. When you know, it’s hard to ignore.

• How sensitive are you or empathetic to the emotions, intentions, words and actions of others?

• How much do you value the opinion of the person that is judging you? If you don’t value them, you’ll stay calm and carry on. If not… fill in you personal response or reaction.

Judgment sounds like:

Judgement is rarely to your face. It usually comes in the form of gossip. I lived in small coastal town in Belgium with only 15,000 inhabitants. There was a lot of gossip. I t thought gossip was unique to small towns, even though I had lived in London till I was sixteen. Moving to New York and then Las Vegas, I quickly learned gossip happens everywhere.

• “What’s with those baggie pants, he wears?"

• “Don’t trust a man with a beard. He’s hiding something.” Oh wait, you don’t condemn that anymore because it’s become trendy and acceptable.

• “Being gay is a choice, you faggot.” (e.g Ricky Martin/George Michael and the endless gay celebrities who initially hid their sexual orientation due to societal astigmatism).

• “I don’t get why people can’t be bothered to dress up when getting on a plane.”

• “Back in the day we would have never done that.”… but we are all doing all this other stuff that tomorrow’s generation will condemn… like abusing nature, the planet and each other..

• “I can’t believe that black bitch wouldn’t sit at the back of the bus like she’s supposed to. Just do as you’re told, already.” (Gossip about Rosa Parks)

• “If he simply complied he wouldn’t have been choked to death by that cop(George Floyd/Breonna Taylor/Ahmaud Arbery/Elijah Maclean/Daunte Wright)

• This kneeling during the National Anthem is bullshit.”

• “She’s showing way to much skin for her age. I mean, really.”

• “Money is the root of all evil.”

Some of the above examples are driven by hate. I judge people who are driven and inspired by hate heavily. I may even be inclined to gossip about them.

The only time it may be valid to judge and condemn anybody is if a person’s character is inspired or driven by hate, oppression (racial, social, religious, sexual orientation, political persuasion ) or any form of abusive intention.

IF somebody is condemning, undermining or belittling you because they don’t like, or understand who you are, then shame on them. They deserved judgment for having an obtuse mindset void of emotional intelligence and common human decency. I’ve travelled the world and noticed one thing in all cultures… the majority of people undermine, criticize, belittle others because they don’t like the other person’s sense of taste, style or life-style. The only value this brings is to the self, as a strategy to elevate themselves… probably because they don’t like themselves or because they arrogantly think they are better. We hate it happening to us, yet we do it to others. So, please…

Don’t judge me for:

• Being different than you and most others.

• Wearing a kilt.

• Being an activist, yet patriotic in the true sense of holding my country accountable for its evils, and raising awareness / inconvenient truths. I am not being divisive. It is through awareness that we can make better choices.

• Wearing nail polish when I am a hetro dude.

• Being agnositc. I know, I am going to hell. Nonetheless, can I get an amen? LOL

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

— Martin Luther King

Hypocrisy

I am fully aware that I suffer from judging others, too. I am working on doing it less. Here’s what I’ve been doing and invite you to do the same. Next time you find yourself being judgmental of somebody for “trivial” reasons, ask yourself is it really necessary and does it bring any value to the greater good? Judging divides us. We can live harmoniously with our differences.

What are some behaviors you are being judged on? Leave a comment below. Thanks.

Vital Germaine

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How to Create Positive New Habits with Ease

Whenever wanting to change a behavior or a habit, it's not easy to find motivation and follow through! So then what?

A great place to start that process of positive growth is to change the reason or focus. For example, trying to lose weight just for you is a tough ask. Think of a reason outside of yourself… somebody you care for or love deeply. If your reason to lose weight is to be healthy so you can be there longer for your grandkid and have more energy to play with them, the motivation has now shifted away from the self. The task becomes easier to achieve. You have a powerful reason to commit.

As a whole, whenever our sense of purpose is bigger and beyond ourselves, the motivation almost happens naturally. We become driven and compelled to act.

The key to succeed is to find a reason that is truly dear to you. It can be love based or even fear based, because these two emotions are the strongest motivators to humans. We either run away from pain or we run towards pleasure. The fear of losing somebody can inspire changed behavior. A deep wearing to win somebody’s favor can drive us to new habits.

Who or what is your new carrot? Take a moment to clearly identify that element. The more specific you are understanding this focal point, the better. How much does that person mean to you? Once you’ve clearly established that, you are empowered to REACH HIGHER.

This blog only highlights a STARTING point. Remember that change is not a one-pill fix. However, this is a great platform to grow your wings and fly.

Vital Germaine

Is intuition a gift, a myth or a curse?

If you’re an intuitive, know that you live in a different time, space continuum than logical thinkers… neither better nor worse… just different. Though I personally believe intuition is a gift. Some receive it automatically. Some have to work on developing it. And it appears that some will forever be numb to its offerings, partially due to disbelief.

The seemingly lucky people in life connect with, and trust their intuition. Most will embrace intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut and heart simply know. Don’t underestimate the power of your heart. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power.  Be aware you have access to it.

The HeartMath Institute executed nineteen years of extensive research on the relationship between the psychophysiology of stress, emotions, and the interactions between the heart and brain. They concluded that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. 

If intuition is your compass, stay calm and carry on. The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons with brave decisions.

“The only real valuable thing is intuition.” - Albert Einstein

You may find logical thinkers unable to understand your convictions based on your gut screaming to do what simply FEELS right. How can you be so sure based on a feeling? Lieutenant Colombo always had a hunch (as do most detectives).  It’s a feeling that is deeper than thought or intellect. It stems from the heart… OR..

On a spiritual or holistic level, there is a direct correlation between intuition and the pineal gland or third eye (chakra). It is a form of awakening that connects us to the source. Meditation is a practice that will help you connect and develop your intuition. As we age and due to nutrition, environment and social programming, our pineal gland calcifies. Without nurture: exercise and stretching it can die, so to speak.

Ultimately, true intuition doesn’t need reasoning, evidence of validation. If you are caught between intuition and ego driving decisions, the ego will base decisions on Information. Not intuition, because It just is. Don’t trust it, obey. it is a channel connecting us to an all-knowing form of consciousness that gifts us with insight. It negates time and dimension because universal wisdom isn’t confined to these human-made constructs. Embrace time as non-linear and you will see that intuition is both the past, present and future converging in your gut, heart or third eye (pineal gland).

Vital Germaine

I talk a lot about intuition and the power of the heart in my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST.

Beyond Traditional Empathy

Common consensus and understanding of empathy suggests it’s between two sentient beings or humans. However, it can, should, and does go much further than that. It is a universal love language that transcends a heart beat. The collective that is nature, does not have a heartbeat perse, but it does have a consciousness. Did you know that trees, have a sense of community, sharing information amongst themselves. Such information as weather conditions like droughts are sent to each other as distress signals. Scientists refer to this as mycorrhizal networks.

Nature is a living, breathing organism that connects to all forms of consciousness and life. Our human experience would be much richer if we embraced, let alone understood and honored this phenomenon.

Understanding the relationship between humans and nature (the universe, god, allah…) means sharing an emotional experience with the natural world and everything that it encompasses… and not limited to this conceivable dimension. Modern research and scientists are exploring this concept. It’s called, Dispositional Empathy with Nature (DEN).

The thing is, this concept is not new but rather ancient. What we call “primitive” peoples or “ancient tribal wisdom” have been aware to his for millennia. Nature is honored like a god. It’s about understanding the full circle of life in which everything is intertwined and connected. We hunt a living animal for food, not for pleasure but for necessacity/survival. That animal is honored in its sacred sacrifice, meaning we understand and respect what it has contributed to the circle of life and the suffering it experienced as a result.

BENEFITS:

Understanding and implementing empathy for nature will help us resolve many of the worlds current problems. It would minimize deforestation, abuse of animals in the meat industry, pollution of our seas and waterways, extinction of animal species, lower greenhouse gasses… basically all human-made corrosive behaviors based on greed. The negative side of capitalism is that it opens the door to greed and exploitation of resources based on short-term-thinking and immediate financial gains.

It is time for humans to embrace and implement empathy towards nature? Absolutely, yes! We may not survive without it. If we love our planet and our children’s future, we must substantially shift our thinking, behaviors and our conceptualization of the vast expanse that lives beyond a heartbeat and a traditional mind. Furthermore, empathy is not a disposition, it is a quality that can and should be trained and developed. It begins with awareness. You’re welcome.

I am optimistic we can do better, we will REACH HIGHER.

Learn more about empathy in my book, PINK Is the Color of Empathy.

Vital Germaine