Minimizing the pain of childhood trauma

Happiness is a strange and dangerous word. It is something we pursue. It can be achieved in two different ways, depending on which philosophy you subscribe to.

1. Material pleasures: friends, money, status, toys, distractions etc

2. Giving, helping, finding purpose and meaning.

Identifying which of those two platforms “fulfill” you, can minimize the internal pain you experience due to trauma, in particular childhood trauma.

Once you’ve identified your true need, now you must become patient and strategic to create that lifestyle. Being in survival mode is not infinite, but it requires great awareness, courage and resilience to overcome.

Accepting that you are, or have been in survival mode without playing victim is the beginning of the journey to empowerment. Always be honest with yourself, even if the truth is ugly and hurts. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

None of this happens overnight!!!! Among that journey, have empathy for yourself to  combat and minimize what life due not give you.

Vital Germaine, 7-time author

ORIGINS of THE EMPATH

Well, there are two platforms or theories to consider as to the birth of THE EMPATH.

1. The first empath theory is that it’s a trauma response by which an abused child develops hyper vigilance.

2. The second platform or theory has a much more fascinating back story with an element of woo woo or paranormal.

Which ever theory you subscribe to is perhaps irrelevant because the outcome is the same. There are common traits that empaths possess, which I’ll share in a bit. But let’s begin at the beginning of the empath story.

The term empath was originally coined by Scottish author J.T. McIntosh's 1956. J.T McIntosh wrote a sci-fi story called THE EMPATH, in which these humans possessed the super paranormal ability to sense and feel other people… almost to the point of mind reading and therefore understanding what they might do next or what their intentions were. It was considered emotional telepathy. The plot thickens when the government uses these empaths to oppress workers and therefore society through a form of mind control.

And it’s perhaps this origin of the term that incites the dislike of empaths as these pretentious paranormal super beings.

The opposing theory to hyper-vigilance which makes logical and psychological sense, is the woo woo, paranormal ability theory.

I think the truth is combination of both, with more emphasis on nature over nurture. In other words, they are born, not made. Nurture will only dim or magnify the empath.

The empath is basically an HSP or highly sensitive person with elevated levels of empathy, also known as emotional intelligence… which is not paranormal.

Another way to break down the empath in alignment with modern standard psychological practices and beliefs is to compare it with the Myers Briggs scale of personality measurement. The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is a pseudoscientific, self-report questionnaire that indicates differing "psychological types", you can easily google it and take the test on line. It’s a highly recognized and much used platform for hiring etc. The empath is often-times categorized as what’s called an INFJ.

INFJ stands for:

• Introverted

• Intuitive

• Feeling

• Judging traits (oh oh, judging traits)

INFJ’s and empaths tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.

Sounds about right to me. What are your thoughts on the origins and the meaning of THE EMPATH?

5 Simple and Effective Ways to Protect Your Energy

Futurist and engineer, Nikola Tesla is known for saying, If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Energy is constantly shared and transferred as we interact with other humans, animals and nature. If the energy exchange is healthy, it is comforting, reassuring, calming and even healing. In a utopian world we’d feel this way about every interaction. Unfortunately, there is a lot of hurt, dark, wounded energy out there. And then we have the energy vampires. It’s necessary to protect our energy to optimize our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Your health literally lives and dies off of energy.

If you are an empath or HSP (highly sensitive person), you will be more susceptible to external energy. Such beings need to take extra steps to stay in a state of optimum health and wealth.

Here are 5 things you can do to protect your energy and optimize your health.

1. Set an intention before going out in public. Visualize the intention. Feel the intention. Become the intention

2. Build a protective barrier or force field around you. Again visualize whatever protective barrier works for you. For me I imagine a bright light emanating from my gut, consuming my body and going out into the world with nothing able to dim or enter my protective light.

3. Be strategic in how much time you will expose yourself to external stimulation and energy. Know your healthy time limits. And whenever you feel a remote drop in energy from somebody, exit the conversation or periphery.

4. Have energy absorbers or repellents at the entrance of your home, keeping all negative vibes outside. I have crystals and a water solution with camphor at my entrances.

5. Have an activity to expel any energies you might have absorbed. That can be crystals, burning sage (be careful with this one), exercise or movement, including literally shaking off energy, taking your clothes of as you enter, taking a shower, yelling into an empty bottle… get any energy that doesn’t serve you gone.

Vital Germaine

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How can we know the "truth"

We might never know which is right or wrong; we might never know “the truth.”

It’s what the Buddhists call a “Mu” situation, in which some questions and mysteries are both yes and no. The “Mu” concept is an important component of creativity. It’s about having the open-mindedness to embrace the different or welcome differences while continuing to move forward or innovate. Narrow-mindedness is the downfall and death of innovation. Innovation unto itself is a one-directional forward motion, continually in search of growth, progress, evolution... which means, we discover new and different truths with new and different information and insight. Truth is forever in flux, with infinite variables and persepctives.

The “Mu” concept is based on a question asked by a student to his master while sitting in a temple. The student asks the master to explain what Buddha nature is.

“Buddha nature is all things,” the master replies.

The student sees a dog wandering in the garden and asks if the dog also has Buddha nature.

“Mu,” responds the master. Buddha nature can’t be categorized, according to its principles. The master is, therefore, unable to deny or confirm the answer. If the master answers “no,” then he is wrong. If he responds with “yes,” then he is also wrong. “Mu” becomes the only acceptable answer. Buddha nature is everything even when it isn’t.

Truth has multiple sides, versions and realities. In understanding this possibility that there is never a finite truth, we remain open, minimizing judgment and condemnation. This is the ultimate attitude of open-mindedness that allows for the deepest form of understanding, collaboration, and harmony. The result is innovation ... a new world, a better leader, a stronger team, an improved product.

This is an excerpt from my book, INNOVATION MINDSET

What are we really looking for as humans?

What are we really looking for as humans?

Maslo’s hierarchy of needs

A life void of deep, meaningful connection is empty and lonely. Authentic and genuine connection is harder and harder to find, we focus on soothing the lack of connection with shiny, social media-inspired rewards; likes, follows, admirers, being trendy, having status, addictions etc.

Through social media awareness or woke-ism, as to what others are doing, thinking, feeling, experiencing and subscribing too etc, we either find relatability (our tribe) or we face division. We do not find connection.

Connection can happen organically as two people or more meet randomly or by design. We can invite and incite connection. That means being authentic and showing the world who you are… therefore attracting those who are genuinely like-minded. But that is scary! Attraction is only the invitation to the dance. Now it’s time to actually dance and connect. Let your hair down (insecurities and fear), lose the inhibitions and shake that ass in the way you really want to. It’s unique to you.

The Six C’s of Connection

1. Curiosity - a strong desire to know or learn something, in particular, regarding who a person is. What’s their story?

2. Commonality - focusing on our similarities not our differences brings us together.

3. Caring - making people feel safe, valued and honored… EMPATHY… enables us to transcend to a higher level of consciousness driven my awareness and love.

4. Collaboration - the act of compromising for the bigger picture. This doest not mean sacrificing or violating your core values. It’s finding the areas where we can work together or thinking along mutually beneficial avenues.

5. Character - the mental or moral qualities distinctive to an individual… in showing our true character, other see who we are. If we show up authentically, people can make an informed decision as to wether or not we are a good fit. Sadly, the world is filled with greedy, selfish individuals wearing masks for pure personal gain. It’s hard to connect with somebody who is playing a game of one-sided gain.

6. Communication - there are no meaningful relationships without effective communication. This is potentially the number one reason why connections break down. Learn more.

If you have found relationships that are deep and meaningful, congratulations… stay calm and carry on nurturing them. If you haven’t, it means something needs to change. Either it’s you or your circle.

Let’s connect, even if superficially to begin with.

Vital Germaine

Finding YOU

What drives you? No, I mean really, what is your deepest, most self-defining/self-preserving emotional and psychological need/want? The answer to that question will set you free.

Go deeper than the "superficial/material" desires like, money or status. The true answer lies deeper. It's scary to look oneself in the eyes until you see your own soul for all its glories and fears. Down there, deeply hidden lies the answer to YOU… combine that answer with what you are good at, what you love doing and what brings value, and you will find your IKIGAI.

It might take a minute! It might take years, but the journey is worth it.

In Chapter 20 of my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST, I share a very impactful self-discovery activity to truly give you a starting point to dig deeper into who you are and what drives you.

Vital Germaine

Is the EGO friend or foe?

The EGO has been studied and analyzed by some of the great thinkers of the world. Here is a simplified break down and perspective. According to an article in Psychology Today by Mark Leary Ph.D, he says, “The concept of "ego" is among the most confusing in psychology.”

We’ve probably all heard, if not made negative comments about a person’s ego ourselves. Why, because it’s commonly viewed as a negative. Check your ego at the door. Ever heard that one? It’s as if you were entering a saloon that didn’t allow guns (cowboys back in the day), to avoid conflict or death.

“Oh, what an ego?
”(insert personal pronoun) ego is out of control / so big… they have such a big ego.”

But is the ego always a foe, or can it also be a friend? Watch the short 4-min video below to find out.

If, and a big IF, you are able to check your ego (not at the door), but in the mirror, there is potential to become and overall better human being who brings value to those they interact with; at work, at home. That will feed your ego to feel good about itself because your relationships, performance and results will increase… you’ll be more likable and more trustable. Ultimately, minimizing the ego invites and inspires authentic and meaningful connection. After all, isn’t that why we’re here, to connect?

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

7-time author

Artist

Inspirationalist