The Dark Side of Empathy

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Don’t be fooled! Empathy is not always a benevolent trait. Like all human traits and abilities, they can be used for good or for evil.

The gift of empathy can in fact be a highly dangerous and powerful skill when it comes to the dark arts of manipulation. Part of the reason for its stealthy and sorrowful seductiveness is that people simply don’t see the dark empath coming. They don’t see it coming because it’s so well cloaked in goodness. We assume that somebody who is empathetic understands us, so they are a friend. FALSE. Not always.

A cunning empath, or dark empath, can be as harmful, if not more so than a narcissist who allegedly lacks empathy. The only difference between the two is that the narcissist doesn’t know, feel, or understand guilt, shame, remorse, or regret. Despite having an abundance of empathy and the ability to feel the emotions of others, the sneaky and slimy, dark empath, knows all too well what their prey is feeling. However, they themselves don’t actually feel. Manipulation experts at their finest, cloaked in sheep’s wool. The dark empath and narcissist are opposite sides of the same trick coin. Heads or tails? You always loose… unless, you remove yourself from the theatre piece you were cast in.

Did you know?

According to, former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss, FBI agents use empathy during interrogations! They call it tactical empathy, intentionally using concepts from neuroscience to influence emotions.


Red Flags Someone Is a Dark Empath

  • Dark, if not twisted sense of humor.

  • Demonstrate heightened sensitivity.

  • It’s all about their wants and needs.

  • Low self-esteem.

  • Experience mental health challenges.

  • Leverage your feelings as a weapon against you.

  • Experts at using or taking advantage of other people.

Remember, empathy is the highest form of intelligence. And that, is power, good and/or bad. I hope you choose this superpower for good. Empathy not only changes lives, it saves lives. The beauty and power of empathy only come through the giving and communicating of empathy. Make sure that your empathetic generosity establishes healthy boundaries to honor YOU, too.

Know thyself. Know others by seeing them. Become a high-value person in a world that is often too cold, indifferent and disconnected. Don’t be tempted to go to the dark side.

Vital Germaine