Managing and Understanding Your Anger

Anger is confusing! Toxic relationships breed anger, oftentimes fueled by ongoing disrespect. Should you be angered at disrespect or is your anger a negative, even toxic response?

Some “spiritual purists” will say that anger is bad, suggesting it means that you have relinquished your power to the other person who incited or evoked your anger. Or that anger is the sign of a non-enlightened person, victim to the human realm of darkness and doom because they are not enlightened.

So, now what?

Well, different theories appear from different factions of the human race, dependent on their belief systems, core values and biases, with neither being an absolute truth, because the human experience and any opinion on the vastness of existence and consciousness is speculation. “But the Bible says so.” “But scientists say it’s this.” Both have value and both are true if you believe in them. Not everybody does. So, truth is a multi-sided coin.

Nonetheless, when it comes to anger, it’s both “good” and “bad”.

Anger is good when it serves as a gauge or warning sign that your core values have been violated. Your anger is protecting you by inspiring an intense response to fight back and defend the essence of your character or protect something you love.

For those of you who pretend you are so enlightened you don’t get angry, I am calling BS. You simply get angry at different things but there is something out there that if it violated you, you would be “triggered” into anger for the sake of love or fear. Furthermore, you are a human, why not embrace this human experience designed to teach us what it means to be human, even if humanity is only a physical manifestation of spirit… with spirit potentially being immune to anger. But until, I transform back to spirit, I have no shame, guilt or regret at having human emotions… and neither should you.

Anger is bad, when you inflict pain, even revenge, on others. Even though it is a release of intense, and probably pent-up energy, if your emotions inflict unwarranted pain on others, then I view it as a negative. Your anger will have gotten the better of you. Losing control, though human is nonetheless, not recommended. Better to take a pause, a deep breathe and evaluate your options with a clear, yet angered mind, body and spirit. Anger usually impacts every aspect of our being… not just mindset.

Transmuting pain is how to truly control and leverage our anger. The hurt must be redirected into something that can harmlessly absorb our pained emotion: punching a bag, yelling into a pillow, running, dancing, art… the list is endless. In your emotional expression and purge, your are both protecting others and yourself as you heal. 

Anger left untreated or unreleased is really the culprit to a negative reaction.  

I do not promote self-love as it’s an invite to narcissim - I focus on selfcare through awareness (emotional intelligence - the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others).

Through awareness and understanding of what your human experience is putting you through, (tracking the root cause of your inner pain) is the master of managing your anger. We often don’t dig deep enough to understand ourselves and our emotions. As a result, we quickly point the finger at the immediate victim or threat who perhaps only made us aware that we are carrying deep, hidden hurt, pain and resentment. If finding the source, we can begin to control and manage how we react and respond to everything and anything that happens to us or around us. What happens next, despite your humanness, is always a choice. We are forever empowered to make that choice.

In closing, anger is your friend if, and when you choose to make it so. Lose control, and it becomes your enemy, impacting your emotional, mental, spiritual, intellectual and physical state.

How to Minimize Guilt and Shame

Guilt is a combination stemming from childhood indoctrination, when we were told what to feel, who to be and what to believe and do… and our innate moral compass. Btw, your moral compass should be unique to you, because we are individuals with different life missions etc (it gets complicated).

When we negate social programming and live authentically in alignment with our most raw and honest character, core values and moral compass, we will only feel guilt when we do things that don’t align with who we truly are. In fact, when living in total alignment, you won’t be able to do anything that violates your core values because the connection to your soul is too strong. That pure, authentic connection drives every single decision you make.

Guilt, inspires shame. We feel bad because we’ve been endlessly told to feel bad. And the opposite happens, we allow ourselves to do horrible things because we’ve been told it’s okay to do so. Without having to address any specific issues, we all know of historical atrocities that were deemed acceptable at the time.

Find your true self, remove the conscious and subconscious biases, societal programming and BE AUTHENTIC. Guilt and shame will subside… unless your a sociopath or suffer from Narcissist Personality Disorder (which both are ruthless and total discconect from your soul… your soul have in fact been “possessed”).

I am a recovering Catholic (LOL) and know guilt and shame all too well.

Oh, BTW, guilt is not synonymous with remorse or regret! Remorse is inspired by #EMPATHY. And yes, guilt can lead to remorse, but is not remorse until itself.

I am a recovering Catholic (LOL) and know guilt and shame all too well.

THOUGHTS???

Vital Germaine (The Sigma Empath)

Is Narcissism On The Rise?

We’ve all experienced that toxic boss, the controlling family member, the manipulative girlfriend / boyfriend and the lying sibling. It appears to be happening more and more, but is it?

This is a complicated question as there are so many factors and variables to consider. The two most defining dueling factors are:

1: Is it being more exposed than before, making us more aware?

2. Are there simply more narcissists being born and created than ever before?

Narcissism is definitely not a new human character trait. It dates back at least to the birth of the term inspired by Greek Mythology. A young handsome mans falls in love with his own reflection. It also includes “self love” and disdain for others.

More modern usage stems from psychiatrists Paul Näcke and Havelock Ellis, who first used the term in 1889. For them it related to a person who used their own body like that of a sexual partner: objectification perhaps, which makes perfect sense. Narcissist objectify their prey as a form of toy they own.

Sigmund Freud further developed the concept in 1914 (Essay titled, “On Narcissism: An Introduction”, suggesting every child goes through a normal and healthy narcissistic phase as a part of its development. However, it became a disorder if continued during puberty and adulthood.

In 1913, Ernest Jones said, “People with extreme narcissism have a “God complex”. 

And while on the topic of God, The Bible claims that “narcissism can be viewed as the epitome of sin”. The Book of Proverbs refers to narcissism as foolish behavior. “The fool makes his own rules, scoffs at rebuke, and disregards the harm his actions may cause.” Sounds about right!

So, it’s definitely been around for a while.

Nonetheless, modern society unto itself has become more narcissistic, fueled in big part by social media (look at ME, like ME, follow ME). It is becoming common place because everybody is becoming more narcissistic. We find them in the workplace (toxic boss or controlling colleagues), in our circle of friends, family and lovers. They destroy self-esteem and relationships.

CAVEAT: Having narcissistic traits, doesn’t necessarily make you a narcissist, in the same way that having athletic abilities doesn’t make you an athlete. The term is being thrown out there for anybody who is remotely selfish, lied (even once) and for the gain of manipulators to insult others by using that term when they don’t get their way. And btw, If you haven't and aren’t experiencing and uptick in narcissistic behavior, well, guess what that could mean? LOL

There are certain demographics who struggle and are more impacted more heavily by this uptake in narcissitic traits and tendencies, THE EMPATH! (highly empathetic and/or sensitive person, some people with ADHD, too). This modern world of ME, ME, ME is exhausting and highly challenging for these neurodivergent types.

The empath is continually fighting an energetic battle with a world filled with endless beauty, yet so much ugliness. It appears that narcissism and energy vampires are on the rise… freely and openly coming out of the woodwork like a bad trend… or are they simply being more exposed, but they were always there… simply more identifiable through out awareness? Once you see, you can’t unsee.

Either way, if you are an empath, your energy is precious and must be protected. This means having difficult and courageous conversations to establish BOUNDARIES. Take my online communication course with an entire module dedicated to “COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS”

TAke the course

SO, NOW WHAT?

In the meantime, you must recharge regularly and consistently to sustain a level of wellness. Through introspection, silence and inviting calm into your life you become stronger and more resilient, but you shouldn’t always be fighting toxicity. You should be searching for peace, which can mean distance, separation and even isolation from people with narcissistic traits.

Rest, calm, peace… safety, is an empath must. You must invest and design your wellness lifestyles… it can be so simple.

Whether you are a neurodivergent or not, invest in YOU, TOO, not just everybody else. This is not selfish, and I don’t call it self love (go back to beginning of the blog and the term “self-love”). It is about self-respect and self-care, not self love.

Have a beautiful day, week, year in both your personal and professional life.

Vital Germaine

Acceptance versus Submission

There is a fine, yet, major difference between acceptance and submission. They often get confused. One brings peace, and the other incites resentment if not anger.

WHAT IS SUBMISSION

Submission is a negative and highly detrimental form of acceptance. It means you have allowed something to be or happen through the lens of a victim void of power. You have given in to whatever external forces are imposed on you. Submitting means you have dishonored the essence of your identity and your core values. You have lacked courage and now inspired internal shame, guilt and regret.

Submission means reluctantly being a doormat, a push-over, and weak. You are now are unhappy with yourself, your decisions, and your own choices. You will not only feel guilt, shame and resentment, but internal anger will manifest, impacting your physical, intellectual and emotional wellbeing.

How do you know if you have submitted to circumstance? You will know because your soul will be fighting itself or complaining.

WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance on the other hand, is being at peace with your decision and the external forces. There will be no guilt or shame. It’s about letting go and willingly embracing the outcome void of resistance. This brings tranquility to your soul. Your nervous system will be calm. There will be guild up of cortisol in your body.

Your objective is to be, and feel empowered with your life and wellbeing. Acceptance provides this tranquil state of mind.

Through genuine and sincere acceptance, you take ownership of YOU by protecting and honoring your core values, your needs, wants and expectations. It might feel selfish at first if you are not used to honoring yourself. It is only through listening to your inner voice and acting in alignment with that voice that your wellbeing becomes a priority. In due time you will find a healthy balance between giving and caring for others and protecting you.

As you change and become empowered, you will now need to accept the loss of “friends” and even family. Perhaps even your job. Accept this as it is the beginning of a new and empowered chapter of your life.

BRING IT ALL TOGETHER

So, remember, if you are unhappy with something but allow it to happen, you are submitting. If you are at peace (and you must be honest with this feeling of being at peace), you are living in the mindset of acceptance and ultimate empowerment.

If you are not at peace with something, it means additional work needs to be done. Either you keep fighting the situation until you find a solution, or you learn to sincerely accept and embrace the situation, understanding that it is out of your control. YOU MUST BE AT PEACE to achieve acceptance.

Allowing somebody to continue to abuse or take advantage of you to maintain the peace, is not acceptance. Because the peace is not yours. It’s their piece and your torment. It means you have been bullied or manipulated into submission. Not healthy!

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine (The Sigma Empath)

Minimizing the pain of childhood trauma

Happiness is a strange and dangerous word. It is something we pursue. It can be achieved in two different ways, depending on which philosophy you subscribe to.

1. Material pleasures: friends, money, status, toys, distractions etc

2. Giving, helping, finding purpose and meaning.

Identifying which of those two platforms “fulfill” you, can minimize the internal pain you experience due to trauma, in particular childhood trauma.

Once you’ve identified your true need, now you must become patient and strategic to create that lifestyle. Being in survival mode is not infinite, but it requires great awareness, courage and resilience to overcome.

Accepting that you are, or have been in survival mode without playing victim is the beginning of the journey to empowerment. Always be honest with yourself, even if the truth is ugly and hurts. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

None of this happens overnight!!!! Among that journey, have empathy for yourself to  combat and minimize what life due not give you.

Vital Germaine, 7-time author

Sympathy? No thanks! But why?

Sympathy is like a cheep wine compared to the exquisite taste of Empathy, the champagne of emotions, the elixir of connection.

Sympathy doesn’t inspire a true sense of connection because it’s a gentle form of pity. Pity disconnects because we don’t feel WITH them. Pity is fleeting, short-lived and we move on as it it was never experienced.

When people hurt, are wounded, have been betrayed, pity is actually a very sorry, insulting and degrading thing to have and share. There are nonetheless, “unhealthy” souls who thrive on pity. But it’s not pity they want. It’s simple a strategy they learned that got them attention. That shallow, fake connection is better than nothing. When we starve, we will gladly eat anything. It is not nutritional for the soul.

We all want and crave empathy in our time of need but the odds of getting it our very slim. So…

We hide or mask our failures and tragedy on social media. Why?

Because we know we will not get any empathy. We might get a few doses of sympathy disguised as likes are broken heart emojis.

Sympathy Isn’t about getting into the trenches with somebody… It’s observing the war from the safety of a strategic tactical center in the other side of the world. Observing collateral damage doesn’t impact the senses. Worse yet your tragedy inspires pity. Pity might get you a dollar. What you really need is a warm blanket a hot meal And loving arms wrapped around your shoulder.

To be human is to feel what other humans feel. We have become non-human.

In 1980 Giacomo Rizzolatti discovered mirror neurons. It’s a part of our DNA to relate. But the world no longer related to anybody, too preoccupied with the self.

Vital Germaine,

ORIGINS of THE EMPATH

Well, there are two platforms or theories to consider as to the birth of THE EMPATH.

1. The first empath theory is that it’s a trauma response by which an abused child develops hyper vigilance.

2. The second platform or theory has a much more fascinating back story with an element of woo woo or paranormal.

Which ever theory you subscribe to is perhaps irrelevant because the outcome is the same. There are common traits that empaths possess, which I’ll share in a bit. But let’s begin at the beginning of the empath story.

The term empath was originally coined by Scottish author J.T. McIntosh's 1956. J.T McIntosh wrote a sci-fi story called THE EMPATH, in which these humans possessed the super paranormal ability to sense and feel other people… almost to the point of mind reading and therefore understanding what they might do next or what their intentions were. It was considered emotional telepathy. The plot thickens when the government uses these empaths to oppress workers and therefore society through a form of mind control.

And it’s perhaps this origin of the term that incites the dislike of empaths as these pretentious paranormal super beings.

The opposing theory to hyper-vigilance which makes logical and psychological sense, is the woo woo, paranormal ability theory.

I think the truth is combination of both, with more emphasis on nature over nurture. In other words, they are born, not made. Nurture will only dim or magnify the empath.

The empath is basically an HSP or highly sensitive person with elevated levels of empathy, also known as emotional intelligence… which is not paranormal.

Another way to break down the empath in alignment with modern standard psychological practices and beliefs is to compare it with the Myers Briggs scale of personality measurement. The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is a pseudoscientific, self-report questionnaire that indicates differing "psychological types", you can easily google it and take the test on line. It’s a highly recognized and much used platform for hiring etc. The empath is often-times categorized as what’s called an INFJ.

INFJ stands for:

• Introverted

• Intuitive

• Feeling

• Judging traits (oh oh, judging traits)

INFJ’s and empaths tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.

Sounds about right to me. What are your thoughts on the origins and the meaning of THE EMPATH?

Simple Life Lessons

There are many lessons I learned during my years at Cirque du Soleil... some of them I now use to inspire as a speaker because they relate and lend to the business world. Other lessons focus on who we are as individuals, as humans. All the lessons have helped me grow as a person and I gadly share them.

One of the biggest take aways from my 5 years in the company were the lesson learned about integrity and being authentic - being true to who we are and not being afraid of our individuality or expressing it; qualities Cirque thrived on and inspired us to be, encouraged us to do, including being CHILDLIKE and in the moment.

Here is an excerpt from the sequel to FLYING WITHOUT A NET (Flying Without a Net 2.0).

CHAPTER 13 ~ The Cirque Audition… continued ~

There I stood below the trapeze; confused—a part of me fearless, the other half trembling.

The first part of the Cirque du Soleil audition had been a whirlwind of exploration, discovery, some really crazy shit, and a sturdy reminder to let go of conformity, feel and express without inhibition. Debbie Brown’s creative insanity left me none the wiser, only more curious and eager to play, be silly and have fun at the expense of the clowns, midgets and sword-swallowers I thought lived at the back in trailers.

The coach, Pierre, and his quiet assistant whose name I don’t remember, placed me into a harness. It fit snug around the waist. It squeezed my inner thighs and everything in between. They attached the belt to the bungee cords by a clip that mountain climbers use.

Pierre began my crash course like he had done to the other dancers...

...Instead of dancing up there as the other dancers had done, I played like a child on Christmas day. I made up several silly spur of the moment moves: the suspended swimming frog, followed by the flying monkey, ending with the slow motion astronaut and the seventies aerial robot. I went from zero to genuine clown in under six seconds.

 “It’s fun, non?” asked Pierre.

Debbie and Pierre congratulated me.

I had apparently captured their attention, imagination and curiosity despite having no idea what I was doing. It sometimes pays to be vulnerable and authentic and just do without a plan or a sense of direction—to be spontaneous regardless of circumstance—to reconnect with one’s forgotten inner child and just be.

"It's not always easy to be in the moment, authentic and let go of your inhibitions to be free, to be vulnerable and childlike. But when I do, good things happen!"

It’s worth taking the risk of showing the world who you really are!

The Empath and other Neurodivergent Social Stigmas

I consider the empath to belong within the group labelled, neurodivergent. Empaths are not neurotypical.

The general understanding of neurodivergent is predominantly associated with people who are on the autism spectrum. It also includes anybody whose brain functions differently.

This is what the Cleveland Clinic has to say about the neurodivergent.

PART 1: The term “neurodivergent” describes people whose brain differences affect how their brain works. That means they have different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have those differences. The possible differences include medical disorders, learning disabilities and other conditions.

It’s a polite, politically correct term “they” give to those “they” view as mentally f%&*@d up.

PART 2: The possible strengths include better memory, being able to mentally picture three-dimensional (3D) objects easily, the ability to solve complex mathematical calculations in their head, and many more.

Society tends to only register Part 1… the disorders, challenges or “conditions”.

If we focus on Part 2, we realize that neurodivergence is a gift, a superpower that is above the norm.

Society likes to keep people in alignment with the lowest common denominator for the sake of control and/or assimilation into the set standards of an outdated education system designed to create conforming worker-bees. And btw, the Empath and HSP are forms of neurodivergence.

Let’s take Part 2 to a different level, starting with so-called ailments and disorders such as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Just because the average person lacks curiosity and intrigue and is almost numbed by mass hypnosis and made placid in thought, doesn’t mean that the highly curious have a disorder. Rather than medicate and numb brain, put them more challenging and creative environments, or teach them mediation. As far as I am concerned, lacking curiosity is a disorder. Ask Albert Einstein, who once said, “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious”. Passionately curious!

Let’s take ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), in short, overly active with heightened spontaneity. Is that really a disorder, compared to being an emotionally numb drone of middle society? Encourage and inspire them to choose careers that require more energy and quick decision-making. This is a rudimentary suggestion that requires deeper thinking and exploration, but without that deeper exploration, prescriptions and shaming aren’t really solving the “problem”.

The list of diagnosed disorders as acronyms is endless. And btw, almost all of them are recent phenomenon or labels with a negative connotation. How are they treated? With pharmaceuticals that make them act like everybody else. Hmmm. How are they created? Arguably pharmaceuticals for financial gain by obligating people to be on life-time medication. Genius.

Perhaps we should embrace and elevate this exceptional people rather than condemn and banish them to an inferior status guilted into shame as if they have cerebral cooties.

So, let’s talk about the disorder of being highly sensitive (HSP). Again, this is not a disorder. It’s a gift, as superpower, as is autism and ADD etc. Think Rain Man (movie with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. Dustin Hoffman’s character has extraordinary mathematical abilities… “they” consider that a disorder… LMAO.

If you fall into the category of a neurodivergent, in any, and all of its numerous variations: Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder (DPDRD); Other Specified Dissociative Disorders (OSDD); Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD) etc, etc… including the empath, the psychic, or Rain man/women), begin celebrating your unique gifts and end the shame. You are special. You are magical. You have a superpower. I honor you!

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine (The Sigma Empath)

5 Simple and Effective Ways to Protect Your Energy

Futurist and engineer, Nikola Tesla is known for saying, If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Energy is constantly shared and transferred as we interact with other humans, animals and nature. If the energy exchange is healthy, it is comforting, reassuring, calming and even healing. In a utopian world we’d feel this way about every interaction. Unfortunately, there is a lot of hurt, dark, wounded energy out there. And then we have the energy vampires. It’s necessary to protect our energy to optimize our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Your health literally lives and dies off of energy.

If you are an empath or HSP (highly sensitive person), you will be more susceptible to external energy. Such beings need to take extra steps to stay in a state of optimum health and wealth.

Here are 5 things you can do to protect your energy and optimize your health.

1. Set an intention before going out in public. Visualize the intention. Feel the intention. Become the intention

2. Build a protective barrier or force field around you. Again visualize whatever protective barrier works for you. For me I imagine a bright light emanating from my gut, consuming my body and going out into the world with nothing able to dim or enter my protective light.

3. Be strategic in how much time you will expose yourself to external stimulation and energy. Know your healthy time limits. And whenever you feel a remote drop in energy from somebody, exit the conversation or periphery.

4. Have energy absorbers or repellents at the entrance of your home, keeping all negative vibes outside. I have crystals and a water solution with camphor at my entrances.

5. Have an activity to expel any energies you might have absorbed. That can be crystals, burning sage (be careful with this one), exercise or movement, including literally shaking off energy, taking your clothes of as you enter, taking a shower, yelling into an empty bottle… get any energy that doesn’t serve you gone.

Vital Germaine

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What not to do when a relationship ends

Relationships are complicated and complex, whether intimate, or professional. There are endless moving parts that determine the quality, success, or failure of said relationship. Inevitably, the endings are always connected to the quality of communication.

Either the wrong thing was said at the wrong time in the wrong way, Either the right thing was said at the wrong time in the wrong way (and variations there of). Sometimes it’s not necessarily what was said, but rather a question of how it was interpreted. The final and often overlooked element of communication is the something that wasn’t said. It may have been intentionally left out. It may have been accidentally omitted as it appeared to be irrelevant or because it may have cause friction. Ironically, not saying it will inevitable end up causing friction. Better to say. Just figure out the right time and the right way.

Most relationships will face conflict and end as a result of values being violated, stubbornness, avoidance of accountability or willingness to change behavior, or simple yet meaningful disagreement on perception and responsibility that becomes a deal breaker. Sometimes nobody is wrong. It’s just time to part ways.

When relationships do end, here's what I've learned about what shouldn’t be done (includes my past indiscretions).

1. Good people say bad things (yep, I've said some mean #$%&). It doesn't make them bad people. Vice versa, bad people do good stuff... they are still bad people.

2. Whatever secrets they entrusted with you... honor that trust despite the relationship ending.

3. What ever gifts you gave them, don't take them back (oops! - i've learned).

4. Celebrate the beauty of the relationship despite the current disappointments/deceit etc. It will hurt at first and seem impossible to celebrate an end. In due time, I hope you will reflect and see some value in that relationship.

5. Whatever went wrong, you played a part in it, making you accountable too. (ouch!!!)

6. "Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn." - John Maxwell

7. Add your own advice here

Take my REACHING HIGHER THROUGH COMMUNICATION online course and help improve your relationships. Click button below to register.

How can we know the "truth"

We might never know which is right or wrong; we might never know “the truth.”

It’s what the Buddhists call a “Mu” situation, in which some questions and mysteries are both yes and no. The “Mu” concept is an important component of creativity. It’s about having the open-mindedness to embrace the different or welcome differences while continuing to move forward or innovate. Narrow-mindedness is the downfall and death of innovation. Innovation unto itself is a one-directional forward motion, continually in search of growth, progress, evolution... which means, we discover new and different truths with new and different information and insight. Truth is forever in flux, with infinite variables and persepctives.

The “Mu” concept is based on a question asked by a student to his master while sitting in a temple. The student asks the master to explain what Buddha nature is.

“Buddha nature is all things,” the master replies.

The student sees a dog wandering in the garden and asks if the dog also has Buddha nature.

“Mu,” responds the master. Buddha nature can’t be categorized, according to its principles. The master is, therefore, unable to deny or confirm the answer. If the master answers “no,” then he is wrong. If he responds with “yes,” then he is also wrong. “Mu” becomes the only acceptable answer. Buddha nature is everything even when it isn’t.

Truth has multiple sides, versions and realities. In understanding this possibility that there is never a finite truth, we remain open, minimizing judgment and condemnation. This is the ultimate attitude of open-mindedness that allows for the deepest form of understanding, collaboration, and harmony. The result is innovation ... a new world, a better leader, a stronger team, an improved product.

This is an excerpt from my book, INNOVATION MINDSET

6 priceless things about creative expression

ONE: It doesn’t matter the medium (crayons, oils, acting, musical instrument, writing/journaling, singing in the shower, dancing in the living room… ).

It doesn’t matter the quality or outcome.

TWO. It’s all about the journey of processing and releasing our emotions, traumas, wounds, fears… experiences.

THREE. It’s meditative, inviting you to be present, minimizing the external and internal noises of distraction.

FOUR: While being in the moment, you'll connect deeper with yourself, leading to understanding.

FIVE: It’s also better than dumping our hurt onto people we love and/or hate.

SIX: It also works a charm when expressing joy and gratitude.

Art has been the most effective, impactful therapy I can think of. It was in fact an integral strategy in recovering from the darkest of dark places. Learn more in my book PINK IS THE COLOR OF EMPATHY, which takes a deep look at mental health.

Vital Germaine

What are we really looking for as humans?

What are we really looking for as humans?

Maslo’s hierarchy of needs

A life void of deep, meaningful connection is empty and lonely. Authentic and genuine connection is harder and harder to find, we focus on soothing the lack of connection with shiny, social media-inspired rewards; likes, follows, admirers, being trendy, having status, addictions etc.

Through social media awareness or woke-ism, as to what others are doing, thinking, feeling, experiencing and subscribing too etc, we either find relatability (our tribe) or we face division. We do not find connection.

Connection can happen organically as two people or more meet randomly or by design. We can invite and incite connection. That means being authentic and showing the world who you are… therefore attracting those who are genuinely like-minded. But that is scary! Attraction is only the invitation to the dance. Now it’s time to actually dance and connect. Let your hair down (insecurities and fear), lose the inhibitions and shake that ass in the way you really want to. It’s unique to you.

The Six C’s of Connection

1. Curiosity - a strong desire to know or learn something, in particular, regarding who a person is. What’s their story?

2. Commonality - focusing on our similarities not our differences brings us together.

3. Caring - making people feel safe, valued and honored… EMPATHY… enables us to transcend to a higher level of consciousness driven my awareness and love.

4. Collaboration - the act of compromising for the bigger picture. This doest not mean sacrificing or violating your core values. It’s finding the areas where we can work together or thinking along mutually beneficial avenues.

5. Character - the mental or moral qualities distinctive to an individual… in showing our true character, other see who we are. If we show up authentically, people can make an informed decision as to wether or not we are a good fit. Sadly, the world is filled with greedy, selfish individuals wearing masks for pure personal gain. It’s hard to connect with somebody who is playing a game of one-sided gain.

6. Communication - there are no meaningful relationships without effective communication. This is potentially the number one reason why connections break down. Learn more.

If you have found relationships that are deep and meaningful, congratulations… stay calm and carry on nurturing them. If you haven’t, it means something needs to change. Either it’s you or your circle.

Let’s connect, even if superficially to begin with.

Vital Germaine

Is Anger a Bad Thing?

Anger is something we all feel and experience. Anybody that will claim to not get angry is, well… hard to believe. My calling them liars might make them… angry.

Anger is an emotional response to something that causes a feeling of being disrespected, undermined, insulted, violated, taken advantage of, abused, or lacking control over our environment. It is a relative emotion. What makes me angry may appear trivial to you, and vice-versa.

Such an intense emotional response is a healthy flag that allows us to gauge ourselves and how we are perceived and treated. The trigger can be an old wound, or “trauma response” which has now become a common answer to undermine a person’s anger. It can signal that our core values have been violated. It lets us know what’s important to us and what is worth protecting and fighting for. We all get angry for different reasons, yet we are inclined to judge and condemn others when they get angry, forgetting we get angry too (empathy). Nonetheless, it is more often than not a response to immediate or long-term pain that has been unresolved.

The most important thing, I believe, is that anger is not negative. It’s a perfect normal and healthy human response to frustration or pain. We shouldn’t taboo it. We shouldn’t shame it. We should embrace and allow it to be. It’s not about getting angry, it’s about what we do with that anger. We shouldn’t suppress it, because it will fester and in time erupt into potential rage. And that’s when we say and do stuff we regret.

If you lose control of your anger, then I suggest physical activities like working-out or sports, creative endeavors or meditation. Experience my “calming” meditation.

We can leverage it as a great motivator, or we can use it to inflict pain unto others. The key is to not let anger control you. It should be your friend. You are human, so don’t deny the experience due to warped societal norms and pressures. Out-of-control anger turns into hate, and hate is not healthy.

BTW, “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.” - In the words of Elie Wiesel.

Vital Germaine

Finding YOU

What drives you? No, I mean really, what is your deepest, most self-defining/self-preserving emotional and psychological need/want? The answer to that question will set you free.

Go deeper than the "superficial/material" desires like, money or status. The true answer lies deeper. It's scary to look oneself in the eyes until you see your own soul for all its glories and fears. Down there, deeply hidden lies the answer to YOU… combine that answer with what you are good at, what you love doing and what brings value, and you will find your IKIGAI.

It might take a minute! It might take years, but the journey is worth it.

In Chapter 20 of my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST, I share a very impactful self-discovery activity to truly give you a starting point to dig deeper into who you are and what drives you.

Vital Germaine

The KAIZEN-Driven Mindset, why it's a game changer

SUCCESS IN ANY CAPACITY IS NOT RANDOM.

During my 5+ years as an acrobat and team captain in Cirque du Soleil, I observed and observed and learned so much about individual and organizational success.

Like every amazing Cirque production, they are not random. The success is directed, choreographed, inspired and produced. It means optimizing each and every aspect built on the KAIZEN mindset.

Each amazing trick that has made you gasp during a cirque show took talent, courage, risk, vision, planning communication, creativity and commitment. Once a show has been “finished” that’s when part two of the success journey begins. And without part 2, there is no Cirque.

The commitment is a KAIZEN thing.

Kaizen is a Japanese term meaning change for the better or continuous improvement. Kaizen sees improvement in productivity as a gradual and methodical process. It was created by Masaaki Imai, a Japanese organizational theorist and management consultant. In observing and studing the Toyota Production System and its Lean principles who deducted that, their success was driven by a mindset of constant optimization (on all levels).

The Cirque culture parallels the Kaizen philosophy. Each dance step, acrobatic flip, lighting cue etc. had potential to become better. The journey is never-ending. It doesn’t take great effort, only a consistent commitment to learning and growth. Done over time, the results become incredible.

Think how much you could change and reach higher if you intentionally introduced Kaizen into your personal and professional life. Small increments of growth lead to massive transformation.

Brendan Buchard said, “First, it is an intention. Then a behavior. Then a habit. Then a practice. Then a second nature. Then it is simply who you are.”

Begin the Kaizen mindset today and you’ll be amazed where you’ll be a year from now. Happy travels.

Learn more about Kaizen in my new book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST.

Vital Germaine.

There are 3 main factors that deny you of your inner genius.

Your inner genius is connected to your inner child. Your inner child is the key to your authentic freedom and empowerment. The problem is that your inner genius is suffocated into submission as you age. Why? How?

1.     Convention and conformity molds us into bots with a heartbeat, calcifying our inner genius, stifling our uniqueness.

Look at our outdated education system. We sit in rows. Walk in lines. Learn a curriculum that a committee has deemed the best for everybody. Conventional education, despite its need and benefits, tells us what to think… mandates us to fit in. Formal education tells us what to think rather than how to think independently. 

2.     Parents and adults who live in fear bombard their children with restricting orders. According to Gallup, children hear on average, 232 no’s or negative comments a day. By the time they reach their teens and early adulthood, those 232 daily parental no’s will have molded those kids into driving in very specific lanes afraid to disrupt, afraid to imagine, afraid to be themselves. Those lanes become filled with worker bees and ants who don’t know how to think independently. It’s a boring, non-imaginative lane that provides a sense of belonging… a basic human need according to Maslo (Hierarchy of needs). So, we comply.

If you are happy with being a worker bee, stay calm and carry on. But what if there was more meaning and purpose to your life than that which your parents made you believe? Are you living their limiting beliefs and expectations?

I understand the intention of most parents. They want to protect their children from harm, danger or ridicule. They want their kids to succeed… but in a selfish way the parent feels is the better way. But is that way in the best interest of that kid or projection? Too many parents prevent their children becoming who they were meant to be… themselves.

“Don’t climb on that.”

“That’s not good for you.”

“Why can’t you be like everybody else?”

“Stop that!”

“No, no, no, no, no!”

By the time we become adults, our organic and authentic dreams and aspirations will have faded. We submit because we have disconnected from the endless possibilities we once possessed as children.

3.     The fear of failure prevents us from taking risks, being different, trying the new. Social media has magnified this collective hypnosis. We select trending music on our posts to get more likes rather than choosing what we really like and what we really want to express. We copy paste the most popular choreography on Tik Tok. We observe what everybody else is doing and conclude that that is how things should be done to be successful.

$6 Million Question!

If there were no consequences to your actions, choices, behaviors or dreams, would you be doing what you are today?

Living your true genius takes courage. Boatloads of audacity. But it’s in you. It’s not too late to become who you were meant to be and who you once dreamed of becoming, despite what your parents or society told you.

Your inner child will set you free and enable you to fly if you connect and listen.

Vital Germaine

President AIM TO WIN, Inc

5 Decision-Making Tips

There is a "safe" strategy to optimize the outcome of your risks and minimize your losses. It’s a simple 5-Step roadmap.

1. EVALUATION: Compare and weigh out your best and worst-case-scenarios. Clearly define and understand the situation and the consequences.  Take the succesful Blackjack player. He/she, takes all aspects of risk into consideration before deciding to stick with the hand that’s been dealt or not dealt. What are the odds that the next card is what is desired? Before taking risks in your industry or business, ask such questions as:

• How influential will the value of that change be and how will the result impact your business, industry or economic landscape?

• Will the risk be too drastic or dramatic for the market to embrace?

• Do you have the time, the resources and an effective marketing strategy to subdue consumer resistance or confusion? Timing, packaging, and education of target audiences, play key roles in success or failure of any business venture, service or product.

• What can you live with in terms of loss? How much money is at stake and can you afford to lose that amount.

• What do market research percentages/data suggest? If the odds are in your favor, take the risk… consult step 2 to increase the odds or success.

2. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Have a pulse on what the market is ready to embrace. If you have invested time in bullet point 1 (evaluation), then the accumulated data combined with your awareness of the market, customer purchasing behaviors and trends, will put you on track to succeeding. Be acutely aware that the market might resist regardless of how incredible the innovation is. Take into account how well your team is equipped to share the message. How much conviction and resources do you have up your sleeve to counter-act potential consumer alienation.

3. INTUITION: The great trailblazers and innovators connect with, and trust their intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses (market research in business). The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut or heart simply know. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. On a holistic level, the heart is connected to the source of universal knowledge. Police detective refer to this as a hunch… something they not only trust, but obey. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power.

4. ADAPTATION: Innovation is a progressive journey that demands strategic change and adaptation. The willingness to fail along that journey is a must... there is always a period of incubation and a learning curve to navigate. Risk and innovation require patient nurturing while the product is sculpted. Without an ability to adapt, all and any risks are borderline reckless and ill-advised.

5. VISION: Let’s state the obvious. Without a clear vision (or mission), the venture is a train wreck in the making. Innovation offers no guarantees, though a plan or roadmap shortens the learning curve and the journey. Your vision should align with your core values. Integrity is a trait that delivers long term results. Your brand strength depends on it. Integrity inspires loyalty. Apple have had unsuccessful product launches, but years of integrity and honoring their vision, keeps clients coming back for the new innovation. Their clients know that Apple will quickly adapt and make it right. Think back to Microsoft’s Vista (a nightmare that took too long to fix).

The objective of all innovation is value creation. The outcome is optimized by minimizing consumer pain points and elevating the experience. It’s a tough and not so forgiving world out there. Be smart in your risk-taking.

To experience a deeper dive into the topic of risk and innovation, read the revised version of INNOVATION MINDSET - it includes new chapters and improved content. Learn to leverage your inner genius, reach higher and impact your leadership, cultural and personal mindset.

Vital Germaine

Are you really being empathetic?

We may think we are being empathetic, but most times we are not, regardless of our pure intentions. A common empathy faux pas is sharing a related incident we experienced. This may well communicate relatability, but unless we quickly shift the focus back to them and their story, we are not being empathetic.

The odds are that when somebody is sharing something painful, they first and foremost want you to simply be there with them! This means we must fully commit to making it entirely about that other person’s experience, perspective and any additional circumstances they have endured for it to be true empathy. The trap is we are influenced by our own personal agenda, needs and expectations, so we listen with every intent to understand, but we still view if from our personal perspective and may offer advice (coaching), a pep talk, or even become their motivational cheerleader. All of which bring little value to the person in need of empathy. If you are coaching or chearleading, you are not listening for their benefit. You are also not understanding their heart-ache or discomfort, but rather expressing how your current mood is optimistic. So think twice when being positive as a response to a pain-point somebody has shared. Be there for them simply by being present.

Empathy is not necessarily about resolving. It’s about feeling and being there in the way that that person needs you. A good suggestion to truly to help is to ask the person one of the following questions:

1. How can I be of value?

2. Would you like me to just listen and hold space for you?

3. Would you like to me to share some advice or perspective?

Ask these types of questions in YOUR way so that it comes across as authentic rather than scripted from a blog.

Vital Germaine