Top 3 Reasons Why Relationships End
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With Valentine’s around the corner, what a great time to talk about romantic relationships. Avoid these 3 things and inspire your romance to blossom.
POOR COMMUNICATION
Relationships ultimately end due to poor communication. Clear, concise and effective communication is so hard to achieve. The inevitable discrepancies between what was said and what was heard is the culprit.
“The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
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Is what was said a clear reflection of what was intended? What was said and what was meant are oftentimes different.
Perception. Different people perceive communication differently. This is where communication gets really tricky because perception is reality. This means there is no right or wrong… just different. Not to mention, semantics.
Did we hear what was said? Sometimes we add a new narrative to what was actually said based on our mindset and emotional state at the time. Communication can trigger specific emotions that can “warp reality”… we sometimes fill in new meanings to what we heard or understood. Revert back to perception. It ultimately comes down to LISTENING.
Beyond words, tone of voice and body language (Albert Merhabian), there is the art of listening. There are in fact 5 types of listening:
Ignoring
Pretend (if you have kids you’ll know exactly what this is)
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#5 is the ultimate in listening ability.
In my online communication course, I talk about listening in great depth. I break down communication to 6 principals that are designed to help people REACH HIGHER in personal and professional relationships.
2. UNDEFINED / UN-MET EXPECTATIONS
Disappointment: When expectations are not clearly communicated, the result is usually disappointment.
Resentment: When disappointment is not addressed, it slowly festers, leading to a build up of resentment.
Anger: At some point, that resentment turns into anger. Anger becomes aggressive or even mean communication. Regretful things are often said.
3. LACK OF RESPECT
Disrespect unto itself will quickly end a relationship. It’s a dish that is always served from a cold, heartless kitchen that lacks empathy. Disrespect comes in many forms with probably the most ruthless being infidelity. Infidelity can be sexual or emotional. It’s hard coming back from this wound.
Disrespect can be the act of:
Undermining your partner, friend or colleague.
Not honoring or protecting their interest.
Not supporting, encouraging or elevating them.
Respect means, I SEE YOU. If I see YOU, I acknowledge YOU… your needs, expectations etc. It is perhaps the ultimate form of love.
Life and relationships are rarely ONE specific thing, but rather a collective of overlapping events and situations that create a reality. This blog breaks down the reasons behind failed relationships, but keep in mind, the reasons are a combination and variation of these 3 factors in random order and muddled reasons. Apply what helps and learn from your experiences.
PS. These same principals apply in the workplace.
I'd love to hear about your experiences and perspectives. Please leave a comment.
Vital Germaine
