Acceptance versus Submission

There is a fine, yet, major difference between acceptance and submission. They often get confused. One brings peace, and the other incites resentment if not anger.

WHAT IS SUBMISSION

Submission is a negative and highly detrimental form of acceptance. It means you have allowed something to be or happen through the lens of a victim void of power. You have given in to whatever external forces are imposed on you. Submitting means you have dishonored the essence of your identity and your core values. You have lacked courage and now inspired internal shame, guilt and regret.

Submission means reluctantly being a doormat, a push-over, and weak. You are now are unhappy with yourself, your decisions, and your own choices. You will not only feel guilt, shame and resentment, but internal anger will manifest, impacting your physical, intellectual and emotional wellbeing.

How do you know if you have submitted to circumstance? You will know because your soul will be fighting itself or complaining.

WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance on the other hand, is being at peace with your decision and the external forces. There will be no guilt or shame. It’s about letting go and willingly embracing the outcome void of resistance. This brings tranquility to your soul. Your nervous system will be calm. There will be guild up of cortisol in your body.

Your objective is to be, and feel empowered with your life and wellbeing. Acceptance provides this tranquil state of mind.

Through genuine and sincere acceptance, you take ownership of YOU by protecting and honoring your core values, your needs, wants and expectations. It might feel selfish at first if you are not used to honoring yourself. It is only through listening to your inner voice and acting in alignment with that voice that your wellbeing becomes a priority. In due time you will find a healthy balance between giving and caring for others and protecting you.

As you change and become empowered, you will now need to accept the loss of “friends” and even family. Perhaps even your job. Accept this as it is the beginning of a new and empowered chapter of your life.

BRING IT ALL TOGETHER

So, remember, if you are unhappy with something but allow it to happen, you are submitting. If you are at peace (and you must be honest with this feeling of being at peace), you are living in the mindset of acceptance and ultimate empowerment.

If you are not at peace with something, it means additional work needs to be done. Either you keep fighting the situation until you find a solution, or you learn to sincerely accept and embrace the situation, understanding that it is out of your control. YOU MUST BE AT PEACE to achieve acceptance.

Allowing somebody to continue to abuse or take advantage of you to maintain the peace, is not acceptance. Because the peace is not yours. It’s their piece and your torment. It means you have been bullied or manipulated into submission. Not healthy!

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine (The Sigma Empath)

Sympathy? No thanks! But why?

Sympathy is like a cheep wine compared to the exquisite taste of Empathy, the champagne of emotions, the elixir of connection.

Sympathy doesn’t inspire a true sense of connection because it’s a gentle form of pity. Pity disconnects because we don’t feel WITH them. Pity is fleeting, short-lived and we move on as it it was never experienced.

When people hurt, are wounded, have been betrayed, pity is actually a very sorry, insulting and degrading thing to have and share. There are nonetheless, “unhealthy” souls who thrive on pity. But it’s not pity they want. It’s simple a strategy they learned that got them attention. That shallow, fake connection is better than nothing. When we starve, we will gladly eat anything. It is not nutritional for the soul.

We all want and crave empathy in our time of need but the odds of getting it our very slim. So…

We hide or mask our failures and tragedy on social media. Why?

Because we know we will not get any empathy. We might get a few doses of sympathy disguised as likes are broken heart emojis.

Sympathy Isn’t about getting into the trenches with somebody… It’s observing the war from the safety of a strategic tactical center in the other side of the world. Observing collateral damage doesn’t impact the senses. Worse yet your tragedy inspires pity. Pity might get you a dollar. What you really need is a warm blanket a hot meal And loving arms wrapped around your shoulder.

To be human is to feel what other humans feel. We have become non-human.

In 1980 Giacomo Rizzolatti discovered mirror neurons. It’s a part of our DNA to relate. But the world no longer related to anybody, too preoccupied with the self.

Vital Germaine,

Simple Life Lessons

There are many lessons I learned during my years at Cirque du Soleil... some of them I now use to inspire as a speaker because they relate and lend to the business world. Other lessons focus on who we are as individuals, as humans. All the lessons have helped me grow as a person and I gadly share them.

One of the biggest take aways from my 5 years in the company were the lesson learned about integrity and being authentic - being true to who we are and not being afraid of our individuality or expressing it; qualities Cirque thrived on and inspired us to be, encouraged us to do, including being CHILDLIKE and in the moment.

Here is an excerpt from the sequel to FLYING WITHOUT A NET (Flying Without a Net 2.0).

CHAPTER 13 ~ The Cirque Audition… continued ~

There I stood below the trapeze; confused—a part of me fearless, the other half trembling.

The first part of the Cirque du Soleil audition had been a whirlwind of exploration, discovery, some really crazy shit, and a sturdy reminder to let go of conformity, feel and express without inhibition. Debbie Brown’s creative insanity left me none the wiser, only more curious and eager to play, be silly and have fun at the expense of the clowns, midgets and sword-swallowers I thought lived at the back in trailers.

The coach, Pierre, and his quiet assistant whose name I don’t remember, placed me into a harness. It fit snug around the waist. It squeezed my inner thighs and everything in between. They attached the belt to the bungee cords by a clip that mountain climbers use.

Pierre began my crash course like he had done to the other dancers...

...Instead of dancing up there as the other dancers had done, I played like a child on Christmas day. I made up several silly spur of the moment moves: the suspended swimming frog, followed by the flying monkey, ending with the slow motion astronaut and the seventies aerial robot. I went from zero to genuine clown in under six seconds.

 “It’s fun, non?” asked Pierre.

Debbie and Pierre congratulated me.

I had apparently captured their attention, imagination and curiosity despite having no idea what I was doing. It sometimes pays to be vulnerable and authentic and just do without a plan or a sense of direction—to be spontaneous regardless of circumstance—to reconnect with one’s forgotten inner child and just be.

"It's not always easy to be in the moment, authentic and let go of your inhibitions to be free, to be vulnerable and childlike. But when I do, good things happen!"

It’s worth taking the risk of showing the world who you really are!

5 Simple and Effective Ways to Protect Your Energy

Futurist and engineer, Nikola Tesla is known for saying, If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Energy is constantly shared and transferred as we interact with other humans, animals and nature. If the energy exchange is healthy, it is comforting, reassuring, calming and even healing. In a utopian world we’d feel this way about every interaction. Unfortunately, there is a lot of hurt, dark, wounded energy out there. And then we have the energy vampires. It’s necessary to protect our energy to optimize our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Your health literally lives and dies off of energy.

If you are an empath or HSP (highly sensitive person), you will be more susceptible to external energy. Such beings need to take extra steps to stay in a state of optimum health and wealth.

Here are 5 things you can do to protect your energy and optimize your health.

1. Set an intention before going out in public. Visualize the intention. Feel the intention. Become the intention

2. Build a protective barrier or force field around you. Again visualize whatever protective barrier works for you. For me I imagine a bright light emanating from my gut, consuming my body and going out into the world with nothing able to dim or enter my protective light.

3. Be strategic in how much time you will expose yourself to external stimulation and energy. Know your healthy time limits. And whenever you feel a remote drop in energy from somebody, exit the conversation or periphery.

4. Have energy absorbers or repellents at the entrance of your home, keeping all negative vibes outside. I have crystals and a water solution with camphor at my entrances.

5. Have an activity to expel any energies you might have absorbed. That can be crystals, burning sage (be careful with this one), exercise or movement, including literally shaking off energy, taking your clothes of as you enter, taking a shower, yelling into an empty bottle… get any energy that doesn’t serve you gone.

Vital Germaine

CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

6 priceless things about creative expression

ONE: It doesn’t matter the medium (crayons, oils, acting, musical instrument, writing/journaling, singing in the shower, dancing in the living room… ).

It doesn’t matter the quality or outcome.

TWO. It’s all about the journey of processing and releasing our emotions, traumas, wounds, fears… experiences.

THREE. It’s meditative, inviting you to be present, minimizing the external and internal noises of distraction.

FOUR: While being in the moment, you'll connect deeper with yourself, leading to understanding.

FIVE: It’s also better than dumping our hurt onto people we love and/or hate.

SIX: It also works a charm when expressing joy and gratitude.

Art has been the most effective, impactful therapy I can think of. It was in fact an integral strategy in recovering from the darkest of dark places. Learn more in my book PINK IS THE COLOR OF EMPATHY, which takes a deep look at mental health.

Vital Germaine

What are we really looking for as humans?

What are we really looking for as humans?

Maslo’s hierarchy of needs

A life void of deep, meaningful connection is empty and lonely. Authentic and genuine connection is harder and harder to find, we focus on soothing the lack of connection with shiny, social media-inspired rewards; likes, follows, admirers, being trendy, having status, addictions etc.

Through social media awareness or woke-ism, as to what others are doing, thinking, feeling, experiencing and subscribing too etc, we either find relatability (our tribe) or we face division. We do not find connection.

Connection can happen organically as two people or more meet randomly or by design. We can invite and incite connection. That means being authentic and showing the world who you are… therefore attracting those who are genuinely like-minded. But that is scary! Attraction is only the invitation to the dance. Now it’s time to actually dance and connect. Let your hair down (insecurities and fear), lose the inhibitions and shake that ass in the way you really want to. It’s unique to you.

The Six C’s of Connection

1. Curiosity - a strong desire to know or learn something, in particular, regarding who a person is. What’s their story?

2. Commonality - focusing on our similarities not our differences brings us together.

3. Caring - making people feel safe, valued and honored… EMPATHY… enables us to transcend to a higher level of consciousness driven my awareness and love.

4. Collaboration - the act of compromising for the bigger picture. This doest not mean sacrificing or violating your core values. It’s finding the areas where we can work together or thinking along mutually beneficial avenues.

5. Character - the mental or moral qualities distinctive to an individual… in showing our true character, other see who we are. If we show up authentically, people can make an informed decision as to wether or not we are a good fit. Sadly, the world is filled with greedy, selfish individuals wearing masks for pure personal gain. It’s hard to connect with somebody who is playing a game of one-sided gain.

6. Communication - there are no meaningful relationships without effective communication. This is potentially the number one reason why connections break down. Learn more.

If you have found relationships that are deep and meaningful, congratulations… stay calm and carry on nurturing them. If you haven’t, it means something needs to change. Either it’s you or your circle.

Let’s connect, even if superficially to begin with.

Vital Germaine

Finding YOU

What drives you? No, I mean really, what is your deepest, most self-defining/self-preserving emotional and psychological need/want? The answer to that question will set you free.

Go deeper than the "superficial/material" desires like, money or status. The true answer lies deeper. It's scary to look oneself in the eyes until you see your own soul for all its glories and fears. Down there, deeply hidden lies the answer to YOU… combine that answer with what you are good at, what you love doing and what brings value, and you will find your IKIGAI.

It might take a minute! It might take years, but the journey is worth it.

In Chapter 20 of my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST, I share a very impactful self-discovery activity to truly give you a starting point to dig deeper into who you are and what drives you.

Vital Germaine

There are 3 main factors that deny you of your inner genius.

Your inner genius is connected to your inner child. Your inner child is the key to your authentic freedom and empowerment. The problem is that your inner genius is suffocated into submission as you age. Why? How?

1.     Convention and conformity molds us into bots with a heartbeat, calcifying our inner genius, stifling our uniqueness.

Look at our outdated education system. We sit in rows. Walk in lines. Learn a curriculum that a committee has deemed the best for everybody. Conventional education, despite its need and benefits, tells us what to think… mandates us to fit in. Formal education tells us what to think rather than how to think independently. 

2.     Parents and adults who live in fear bombard their children with restricting orders. According to Gallup, children hear on average, 232 no’s or negative comments a day. By the time they reach their teens and early adulthood, those 232 daily parental no’s will have molded those kids into driving in very specific lanes afraid to disrupt, afraid to imagine, afraid to be themselves. Those lanes become filled with worker bees and ants who don’t know how to think independently. It’s a boring, non-imaginative lane that provides a sense of belonging… a basic human need according to Maslo (Hierarchy of needs). So, we comply.

If you are happy with being a worker bee, stay calm and carry on. But what if there was more meaning and purpose to your life than that which your parents made you believe? Are you living their limiting beliefs and expectations?

I understand the intention of most parents. They want to protect their children from harm, danger or ridicule. They want their kids to succeed… but in a selfish way the parent feels is the better way. But is that way in the best interest of that kid or projection? Too many parents prevent their children becoming who they were meant to be… themselves.

“Don’t climb on that.”

“That’s not good for you.”

“Why can’t you be like everybody else?”

“Stop that!”

“No, no, no, no, no!”

By the time we become adults, our organic and authentic dreams and aspirations will have faded. We submit because we have disconnected from the endless possibilities we once possessed as children.

3.     The fear of failure prevents us from taking risks, being different, trying the new. Social media has magnified this collective hypnosis. We select trending music on our posts to get more likes rather than choosing what we really like and what we really want to express. We copy paste the most popular choreography on Tik Tok. We observe what everybody else is doing and conclude that that is how things should be done to be successful.

$6 Million Question!

If there were no consequences to your actions, choices, behaviors or dreams, would you be doing what you are today?

Living your true genius takes courage. Boatloads of audacity. But it’s in you. It’s not too late to become who you were meant to be and who you once dreamed of becoming, despite what your parents or society told you.

Your inner child will set you free and enable you to fly if you connect and listen.

Vital Germaine

President AIM TO WIN, Inc

5 Decision-Making Tips

There is a "safe" strategy to optimize the outcome of your risks and minimize your losses. It’s a simple 5-Step roadmap.

1. EVALUATION: Compare and weigh out your best and worst-case-scenarios. Clearly define and understand the situation and the consequences.  Take the succesful Blackjack player. He/she, takes all aspects of risk into consideration before deciding to stick with the hand that’s been dealt or not dealt. What are the odds that the next card is what is desired? Before taking risks in your industry or business, ask such questions as:

• How influential will the value of that change be and how will the result impact your business, industry or economic landscape?

• Will the risk be too drastic or dramatic for the market to embrace?

• Do you have the time, the resources and an effective marketing strategy to subdue consumer resistance or confusion? Timing, packaging, and education of target audiences, play key roles in success or failure of any business venture, service or product.

• What can you live with in terms of loss? How much money is at stake and can you afford to lose that amount.

• What do market research percentages/data suggest? If the odds are in your favor, take the risk… consult step 2 to increase the odds or success.

2. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Have a pulse on what the market is ready to embrace. If you have invested time in bullet point 1 (evaluation), then the accumulated data combined with your awareness of the market, customer purchasing behaviors and trends, will put you on track to succeeding. Be acutely aware that the market might resist regardless of how incredible the innovation is. Take into account how well your team is equipped to share the message. How much conviction and resources do you have up your sleeve to counter-act potential consumer alienation.

3. INTUITION: The great trailblazers and innovators connect with, and trust their intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses (market research in business). The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut or heart simply know. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. On a holistic level, the heart is connected to the source of universal knowledge. Police detective refer to this as a hunch… something they not only trust, but obey. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power.

4. ADAPTATION: Innovation is a progressive journey that demands strategic change and adaptation. The willingness to fail along that journey is a must... there is always a period of incubation and a learning curve to navigate. Risk and innovation require patient nurturing while the product is sculpted. Without an ability to adapt, all and any risks are borderline reckless and ill-advised.

5. VISION: Let’s state the obvious. Without a clear vision (or mission), the venture is a train wreck in the making. Innovation offers no guarantees, though a plan or roadmap shortens the learning curve and the journey. Your vision should align with your core values. Integrity is a trait that delivers long term results. Your brand strength depends on it. Integrity inspires loyalty. Apple have had unsuccessful product launches, but years of integrity and honoring their vision, keeps clients coming back for the new innovation. Their clients know that Apple will quickly adapt and make it right. Think back to Microsoft’s Vista (a nightmare that took too long to fix).

The objective of all innovation is value creation. The outcome is optimized by minimizing consumer pain points and elevating the experience. It’s a tough and not so forgiving world out there. Be smart in your risk-taking.

To experience a deeper dive into the topic of risk and innovation, read the revised version of INNOVATION MINDSET - it includes new chapters and improved content. Learn to leverage your inner genius, reach higher and impact your leadership, cultural and personal mindset.

Vital Germaine

How to Create Positive New Habits with Ease

Whenever wanting to change a behavior or a habit, it's not easy to find motivation and follow through! So then what?

A great place to start that process of positive growth is to change the reason or focus. For example, trying to lose weight just for you is a tough ask. Think of a reason outside of yourself… somebody you care for or love deeply. If your reason to lose weight is to be healthy so you can be there longer for your grandkid and have more energy to play with them, the motivation has now shifted away from the self. The task becomes easier to achieve. You have a powerful reason to commit.

As a whole, whenever our sense of purpose is bigger and beyond ourselves, the motivation almost happens naturally. We become driven and compelled to act.

The key to succeed is to find a reason that is truly dear to you. It can be love based or even fear based, because these two emotions are the strongest motivators to humans. We either run away from pain or we run towards pleasure. The fear of losing somebody can inspire changed behavior. A deep wearing to win somebody’s favor can drive us to new habits.

Who or what is your new carrot? Take a moment to clearly identify that element. The more specific you are understanding this focal point, the better. How much does that person mean to you? Once you’ve clearly established that, you are empowered to REACH HIGHER.

This blog only highlights a STARTING point. Remember that change is not a one-pill fix. However, this is a great platform to grow your wings and fly.

Vital Germaine

Is intuition a gift, a myth or a curse?

If you’re an intuitive, know that you live in a different time, space continuum than logical thinkers… neither better nor worse… just different. Though I personally believe intuition is a gift. Some receive it automatically. Some have to work on developing it. And it appears that some will forever be numb to its offerings, partially due to disbelief.

The seemingly lucky people in life connect with, and trust their intuition. Most will embrace intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut and heart simply know. Don’t underestimate the power of your heart. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power.  Be aware you have access to it.

The HeartMath Institute executed nineteen years of extensive research on the relationship between the psychophysiology of stress, emotions, and the interactions between the heart and brain. They concluded that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. 

If intuition is your compass, stay calm and carry on. The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons with brave decisions.

“The only real valuable thing is intuition.” - Albert Einstein

You may find logical thinkers unable to understand your convictions based on your gut screaming to do what simply FEELS right. How can you be so sure based on a feeling? Lieutenant Colombo always had a hunch (as do most detectives).  It’s a feeling that is deeper than thought or intellect. It stems from the heart… OR..

On a spiritual or holistic level, there is a direct correlation between intuition and the pineal gland or third eye (chakra). It is a form of awakening that connects us to the source. Meditation is a practice that will help you connect and develop your intuition. As we age and due to nutrition, environment and social programming, our pineal gland calcifies. Without nurture: exercise and stretching it can die, so to speak.

Ultimately, true intuition doesn’t need reasoning, evidence of validation. If you are caught between intuition and ego driving decisions, the ego will base decisions on Information. Not intuition, because It just is. Don’t trust it, obey. it is a channel connecting us to an all-knowing form of consciousness that gifts us with insight. It negates time and dimension because universal wisdom isn’t confined to these human-made constructs. Embrace time as non-linear and you will see that intuition is both the past, present and future converging in your gut, heart or third eye (pineal gland).

Vital Germaine

I talk a lot about intuition and the power of the heart in my book, THINK LIKE AN ARTIST.

Beyond Traditional Empathy

Common consensus and understanding of empathy suggests it’s between two sentient beings or humans. However, it can, should, and does go much further than that. It is a universal love language that transcends a heart beat. The collective that is nature, does not have a heartbeat perse, but it does have a consciousness. Did you know that trees, have a sense of community, sharing information amongst themselves. Such information as weather conditions like droughts are sent to each other as distress signals. Scientists refer to this as mycorrhizal networks.

Nature is a living, breathing organism that connects to all forms of consciousness and life. Our human experience would be much richer if we embraced, let alone understood and honored this phenomenon.

Understanding the relationship between humans and nature (the universe, god, allah…) means sharing an emotional experience with the natural world and everything that it encompasses… and not limited to this conceivable dimension. Modern research and scientists are exploring this concept. It’s called, Dispositional Empathy with Nature (DEN).

The thing is, this concept is not new but rather ancient. What we call “primitive” peoples or “ancient tribal wisdom” have been aware to his for millennia. Nature is honored like a god. It’s about understanding the full circle of life in which everything is intertwined and connected. We hunt a living animal for food, not for pleasure but for necessacity/survival. That animal is honored in its sacred sacrifice, meaning we understand and respect what it has contributed to the circle of life and the suffering it experienced as a result.

BENEFITS:

Understanding and implementing empathy for nature will help us resolve many of the worlds current problems. It would minimize deforestation, abuse of animals in the meat industry, pollution of our seas and waterways, extinction of animal species, lower greenhouse gasses… basically all human-made corrosive behaviors based on greed. The negative side of capitalism is that it opens the door to greed and exploitation of resources based on short-term-thinking and immediate financial gains.

It is time for humans to embrace and implement empathy towards nature? Absolutely, yes! We may not survive without it. If we love our planet and our children’s future, we must substantially shift our thinking, behaviors and our conceptualization of the vast expanse that lives beyond a heartbeat and a traditional mind. Furthermore, empathy is not a disposition, it is a quality that can and should be trained and developed. It begins with awareness. You’re welcome.

I am optimistic we can do better, we will REACH HIGHER.

Learn more about empathy in my book, PINK Is the Color of Empathy.

Vital Germaine

How to make fear your friend

It has been said that we either run away from pain or we run towards pleasure. It’s called the “Pain, pleasure principal.” by Sigmund Freud.

Running toward pleasure is easier, though running away from pain is arguably a stronger motivator. Fear can, however, paralyze. And that hurts. We are afraid of pain. It brings worry and stress. Meanwhile, it inspires courage and drives action… change!

Many memes and acronyms claim or suggest that fear is not real. One popular one is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Ignore this.

Fear is very real and not to be blindly ignored. It is the primordial warning mechanism that all living beings and organisms instinctually and inherently possess. It keeps them alive because it lets them know that something is dangerous. Courage is not inclusive of recklessness. The question is, how do you make fear your friend as a "motivator"? It’s a conscious mindset choice. Read more about how to open your mind in my book, FLYING BEYOND THE NET.

Acknowledge your fears. This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you emotionally intelligent.

Fear is one of the most basic human emotions, and emotions are what compel us to do things. Fear can drive a mother to find superhuman strength to lift a car that is crushing her baby. Empower yourself by connecting with your emotions. Leverage them. They will help you achieve your goals.

We tend to avoid fear because it’s not a fun feeling; other than when riding a “scream your lungs out” adventure ride. Other than that, we kid ourselves with empty words such as be “fearless.” It’s not about being fearless. It’s about having courage to stare your fears in the face and moving forward anyway.

A life without pain sounds like utopia. It’s not. If we don’t feel the pain, then nothing happens. We are numb. Fear can provide a sense of urgency, too… we fear the negative consequences of not doing something. Goodbye procrastination. Learn more about how to overcome procrastination.

The key is to stay calm in moments of fear. Keep your wits about you. Maintain clarity of mind. Your blood pressure will increase, potentially speeding up your thoughts. A panicked mind may run or freeze, so… slow down your breathing temporarily. A calm and clear mind will evaluate and understand a situation and asses which plan of action is best suited… options… best case scenario. Now that you’ve got clarity, inhale courage, exhale fear. Increase the intensity of your breathing, filling your lungs and blood with extra oxygen and your system with endorphins. Get psyched about the thrill of you overcoming and reaching higher. Want it! Long for it. Crave it. Obsess about it… then let the dream go cause it’s already yours.

George Addair says,

“Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”

Fear fuels desire.

If you like Napoleon Hill, he talks about the power of desire in his book, Think and Grow Rich. In fact, he dedicates chapter 2 to the topic. He calls desire, the starting point of all achievements.

Next time you feel fear, know that it is a tool for promote growth. It is an opportunity. Run with it. You’ve got this!

Don’t forget the “courage” part. There’s always the Wizard of Oz if you lack in that department. Oh wait…. the Wizard of Oz lives inside you. The magic is in your hands. Inhale the courage. Exhale the fear. And now reach higher.

Vital Germaine

Access more learning resources by FOLLOWING ME ON

What does empathy look, sound, feel and taste like?

Empathy consists of multiple key ingredients that unto themselves are not empathy. The following behaviors are not necessarily synonyms of empathy, but rather traits that we will highly likely demonstrate or experience due to the sharing of empathy. 

If you can communicate the following 7 traits, it will feel like your are sharing empathy. You will begin changing lives for the better and become a high-value person at home and at work.

1. Respect

2. Compassion

3. Caring

4. Relatability

5. Sympathy 

6. Understanding

7. Listening

Read the top 20 list of phrases that communicate empathy in the book PINK IS THE COLOR OF EMPATHY, chapter 26. Here are the first 5:

The below list will help you understand what empathy sounds like. By using the structure and intention of the sentences whenever somebody you care about is going through a hard time, you will develop deeper bonds--deeper intimacy.

1. That makes total sense.

2. That would have hurt my feelings too.

3. I can see that.

4. You’re in a tough spot.

5. What I admire most about what you’re doing is…

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

Help spread the love, because it changes lives… empathy saves lives.

Becoming a High-Value Person

Once upon a time I believed that high-value people were only those with status: influence, financial clout or a broad-reaching network. I was wrong.

If we reframe the meaning of a high-value person, we elevate a lot of people who are undermined in society. That may include you.

The above mentioned people are indeed high value… however, the title of high-value person is not limited to that demographic. Some of those wealthy, influential people (influencers) may be of high value in certain areas, but not across the board. Maybe they provide very little emotional value to those they love; think of the overworked executive who has very little time and energy for the kids. That person is of very little emotional value; and money is not everything.

You can become a high-value person in any field; a stay-home-mom or -dad with a net worth of zero, or with a social network of just your dog or cat/gold fish; and of course aunt Sally.

It’s about how you are helping, supporting and understanding people. It’s about emotional intelligence.

The last words of Steve Jobs, billionaire, dead at 56:

"I have reached the summit of success in the world of business." In the eyes of others, my life is a success.

However, aside from work, I had little joy. In the end, wealth is just a fact I am used to.

At this moment, laying on my hospital bed, remembering my whole life, I realize that all the gratitude and wealth in which I took so much pride, has vanished and became meaningless in the face of imminent death.

You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you but it's impossible to hire someone to deal with sickness and die for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost - "Life".

Whatever stage of life we are currently in, with time, we will face it the day the curtain closes.

Love your family, spouse and friends... Treat them right . Cherish them.

As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch - both give the same hour...

Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse - the amount inside is the same;

Whether we drive a $150,000 car or $30,000 car, the road and distance are the same, and we arrive at the same destination.

That we drink a bottle of wine at 1000. $ or $10 hangover is the same;

That the house we live in is 300 or 3000 square feet - the loneliness is the same.

You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.

Whether you travel first class or economic class, if the plane crashes, you crash with it...

Therefore .. I hope you realize, when you have friends, boyfriends and old friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you argue, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,.... This is the real happiness!!

An indisputable fact of life:

Don't educate your kids to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.

Here are 9 ways to gauge your social worth.

1. The way you show up (be authentic, respectful and kind)

2. The way you communicate (sincere)

3. Your character (core values)

4. Be impeccable with your word

5. Your intentions (purpose)

6. Have more empathy with healthy boundaries

7. Show them you care

8. Giving back or paying it forward

9. Be a safe person (trustworthy / non-judgmental)

Society is emotionally struggling, in particular, the younger generations who need more emotional support than actual financial resources or celebrity.

As a parent, as a friend, lover, partner; be the best version of you for that person and you instantly become a high-value person. The best example I can think of, is a teacher. They rarely become financially wealthy… they are underpaid heroes! Yet, a good teacher brings infinite value to the next generation. I can think of one or two of my teachers who heavily influenced the course of my life, if not saved my life growing up as a kid lost in the British Child Care System. Their value was and is priceless.

Take a moment to self evaluate.

As a person, are you doing that little extra and being the best version of yourself with the wellbeing of others at heart? If yes, you are a high-value person. Congrats.

As a leader, are you inspiring and empowering your team? If you are, then you instantly become a high value leader. If you work at the register at Walmart, are your committed to providing great customer service to each and every person you ring up? If you do, then you are a high value person.

Have the mindset to want to reach higher each and every day, the mindset to do more for your village or community, the mindset to be more empathetic, to be more giving and caring etc. That is wealth right there.

If you are an influencer to the masses but provide little value to those who really need you: your kids, your significant other etc, then consider shifting the focus to those who really love you, not only those who admire you without knowing you. Ultimately, do that little extra and optimize who you are and become not only a high value person, but an extraordinary person. How to become your best self? Discover your IKIGAI

Former Miami Dolphins head coach, Jimmy Johnson, once said, “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary, is that little extra.”

The choice is yours.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

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The new book!

Building a powerful and AUTHENTIC personal brand

Let’s begin with the absolutely not so obvious to many. A brand is not a logo, a jingle, an ad or a slogan. It is also not the product, a symbol or a name. This is a common misconception to young entrepreneurs and first time small business owners who are “building a brand”.

So, then what is a brand?

The short and simply version is this: A brand is a promise made and kept.

Let’s break that down.

You can tell your customers’ all day long who you are, what you are and what you do, but the reality is, your brand is based on their perception, i.e, your reputation. Your reputation is based on “promise made, promise kept.” Do you deliver on what you say you will? If you don’t you have an anemic brand.

All the other elements such as logo etc, fall under the category of “brand identity.” These are the visible elements of a brand, such as color, design, and logo, that identify and distinguish the brand in consumers' minds. They help customers identify you. These elements are not the brand itself.

There are two brand catagories.

1. PERSONAL BRAND: this first one is rarely thought of. YOU in your every day life are a brand. You are perceived a certain way and you have a reputation that determines if people like or trust you. And we interact (or do business) with people we know, like, trust and relate to.

   The easiest and most impactful personal brand you can build is one that is authentic; a true and sincere reflection of your core values and your character. Not fake values that you contrived to look and sound good on paper, but honest, sincere values that you embody and live by in all aspects of your being and your business: your behaviors, your words, your actions, your habits and your patterns. Be aware that over time, your true brand or character will eventually be exposed. This is what you will be judged and perceived on… it’s your promise.

   These same principals apply to the business world. The essence of your character/values (personal brand) will bleed into any form of business you undertake.

   Read the blog: BUILDING A STRONG PERSONAL BRAND

   Read the blog: 3 TIPS TO BUILDING A STRONG BUSINESS BRAND

2. BUSINESS BRAND… read the business brand blog.

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What is Cognitive Dissonance and why you should know?

cog·ni·tive dis·so·nance

/ˈkäɡnədiv ˈdisənəns/

Learn to pronounce

noun

PSYCHOLOGY

1. the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

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If you’d like help along your growth journey, please connect with me and get a FREE 15 minute discovery session.

Learn more in my book, FLYING BEYOND THE NET.

If you agree/disagree, or would like to add to this blog, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment.

Vital Germaine

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What exactly is success and how do you know when you are successful?

The common accepted definition of success is; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. If you google success you’ll come across more elaborate explanations like this one:

Your individual definition of what success is may vary, but many might define it as being fulfilled, happy, safe, healthy, and loved. It is the ability to reach your goals in life, whatever those goals may be.

At very young ages we are told or programmed to perceive success as winning a metaphorical trophy; an achievement. However, many people have achieved much in their lives, yet they don’t feel successful. And in contrast, I know some people who have “achieved” very little, yet they feel fulfilled, accomplished… successful.

Success is a very subjective thing.

We each pursue different milestones or accolades to validate our worth; a degree, getting the hot girl/boy, driving the fancy car, getting a promotion, making money… but if we go deeper, the pursuit of all those “things” are simply to make us feel a certain way. We are emotional beings. We are attracted to that which makes us feel: good, secure, loved, welcome, at peace and whole. We choose a partner because of how they make us feel, not because of how we feel about them (dig deeper into yourself and you’ll see the truth in this).

As long as we focus on “things” to define our success, we will constantly be in hot pursuit of the next high. And it’s exactly the next high that we crave. We’ve all heard of retail therapy, right? Those purchases make us feel good; high. They are, however, short-term feel-good factors… shallow, superficial and not meaningful or replenishing to our soul.

Most keynote speakers, life coaches and employee development trainers I’ve exchanged notes with, provide their clients with “X” amount of steps to make more money, to have more influence, to build self confidence, resilience etc. How many of them encourage clients and audiences to simply live authentically, find purpose, fulfillment, inner peace and happiness in who they are or wish to become… not, WHAT they want to become, but WHO. When we live in alignment with our true identity, our character, our values, objectives and our emotional state surrounded by love and connection, then we live in a successful and fullfilled mind state.

This level of personal development is my focus in my keynotes and employee development trainings and workshops. It’s about the individual becoming a better version of themselves so they can REACH HIGHER. When they reach higher, your organization benefits… your customers’ feel that.

Success is ultimately the feeling of feeling good about yourself and the life you lead. For some, it’s as simple as a log cabin away from everybody and with minimal possessions. For others, it’s a big big house and plenty of toys.

We are all pursing the same thing… a feeling of goodness. The material things help provide that feeling. But it’s the deep spiritual feeling of being at “home” we desire, and that can be achieved in multiple ways, including with minimal possessions but a richness of living and giving.

Start focusing inward on what makes you feel good about yourself; it will lead to happiness, inner peace and fulfillment; now that’s ultimate success in life. Success is something to be designed and created in the heart, not purchased.

If you agree/disagree, or would like to add to this blog, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment and make sure to follow me on social media for more inspiration and tips to help you grow.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

Imposter Syndrome?

For the most part, self-doubt is the catalyst for a lack of self confidence. This inevitably leads to a sense of imposter syndrome if we have achieved a certain level of success before we truly believed we were ready, or deserved it.

Without self-confidence it becomes incredibly hard to fully achieve objectives and enjoy them. Not feeling confident in one’s abilities can prevent us meeting the right people (including romantic partners), and gain authentic credibility or any form of status. HOWEVER… self-doubt is not the actual enemy… when leveraged in healthy doses, self doubt or imposter syndrome can bring great value to your life and those you interact with. How’s that? Because it evokes the following:

1. SELF REFLECTION:

The main advantage of a healthy dose of imposter syndrome is that it triggers a need to re-evaluate, by asking the following question:

“Am I good enough?” If you truly feel like you’re not, the next step is to get back to work, learn and grow. Nothing wrong in continual growth. It’s a Kaizen thing,

“Do I deserve to be here.” Unless you got there through nepotism, a freak act of nature, chances are you deserve to be there. You probably earned the invitation to be in that room. Do you deserve to stay there is maybe a different answer? If you truly feel like you don’t deserved to be there, the next step is to get back to work, learn and grow. Nothing wrong in continual growth. It’s a Kaizen thing.

Any form of decision-making is well served with an element of self-awareness and questioning. Through self reflection/evaluation, you can connect to your intuition on a deeper level, your are compelled to do more research, go back to the drawing board, realize you can do better and be better.

2. MOTIVATION:

It may sound strange to hear that imposter syndrome/self-doubt is a motivator. But, yes, it is. Wondering if you could do better/should do better is a spark unto itself. Wanting to do and be better is a fundamental trait for achievement and success. All the greats of this world have pushed themselves to do better and become better. They took the time to realize that they could do and be better. Always aim to do better and reach higher. Always gave a sense if imposter syndrome.

During my 5 years in Cirque du Soleil, I continually experience Imposter Syndrome. I was surrounded by the best in the world. It intimidated at first. Then become the greatest of inspirations. I grew and thrived. I went from afraid and unqualified, to captain of my team and the example to strive for.

By questioning one’s ability, it leads to the conclusion that you can do more, dream more, and become more, BUT… only if you are hungry to do more, become more and dream more. The hunger to grow and the emotional intelligence to realize you are not the next best thing since sliced bred is an exceptional motivator. Every journey of transformation begins with awareness, realization and then acceptance that a change is needed. The arrogant and overly confident one’s (who don’t experience self doubt) fail to see this because they are so lost and caught up in their own sense of greatness.

3. HUMBLES THE HEART:

Another beautiful and positive attribute of healthy imposter syndrome/self doubt is the humility factor. If you’re humble, it means you can’t be arrogant and over confident. Arrogant people tend to be blinded by their inflated self-confidence. They therefore miss opportunities to learn and grown because they think they are the #%&#. They also tend to belittle others who they view as lesser than themselves. Humility invites people to connect. Your humility can and will inspire and empower others. Your humility is an invite for self-improvement, because you feel and know you can be and do better. It’s a Kaizen thing,

The next time you experience self-doubt or imposter syndrome, don’t feel bad, don’t feel unworthy, don't beat yourself up. Simply understand, embrace and realize that if it remains a healthy dose, it’s your friend and a sign that something can and needs to be changed. “A healthy dose!” If and when the dose becomes unhealthy, then MAYBE it’s time to beat yourself up, unless the self-doubt is so bad that it has paralyzed you. Then you have fallen into the expected conclusions that self doubt is negative. Keep it HEALTHY. I hope you always have a small sense of Imposter Syndrome to keep you REACHING HIGHER.

Just in case I hadn’t mentioned it, reaching higher is a Kaizen thing.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

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The art of risk taking

There is an art form to rolling the dice in order to increase the odds of a positive outcome.

Is it time to quit the job you hate, buy the house, start your business, propose to your dream partner, ask that elusive love interest out on a date? They are all scary goals. When you take risks, the objective is to optimize the outcome, minimizing loss or "failure". Growth and change offer no guarantees. How do you minimize risk and optimize the reward/success? Well, the short version is… you gonna have to take step out of your comfort zone. That can be scary. Below are 5 pillars to help you navigate that fear and optimize the outcome.

1. INTUITION: The seemingly lucky people in life connect with, and trust their intuition in conjunction with the element of planning and analyses. The greats just seem to have a knack of knowing when and how to risk and expand their horizons. Intuition is not a blind act built purely on belief, it is your truest sense of knowledge. Intuition and instinct are not synonymous. Instinct is immediate and purely driven by the reptilian brain. Intuition includes your moral compass (values), gut, experience and the subconscious mind combining with your heart to tell you what is best or what is a negative vibe or energy.

Your gut or heart simply know. Deep down inside you get a sense if the risk is the right one and at the right time. Modern research is showing that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the other way around. On a holistic level, the heart is connected to the source of universal knowledge. Police detectives refer to this as a hunch… something they not only trust, but obey. Design a more promising future by connecting to your intuition. Leverage its power. Be aware you have access to it. Meditation the practice of using it will help ou develop it.

2. REASONING/EVALUATION: Compare and weigh out your best/worst case scenarios. Clearly define and understand the situation and the consequences. Are you observing and translating the signs? Ask such questions as:

• How influential will the value of that risk be and how will the result impact your life. What can you live with in terms of loss both on an emotional and financial level? Take the Blackjack player who takes all aspects into consideration before deciding to stick with what he's been dealt, or risk his hand by requesting an additional card. What are the odds that the next card is what is desired? 

• How much money/humilitation is at stake and can your afford to lose what’s at stake?

• What do the percentages suggest? If the odds are in your favor, take the risk… consult step 1 to increase the odds.

3. ALIENATION: In terms of pure business, have a pulse on what the market or environment is ready to embrace. If the change or risk you are contemplating is too drastic or dramatic, ask yourself if you will be supported in failure. Take into account how much conviction and resources you have up your sleeve to counter-act loss of friends/romantic interest or entrepreneurial venture. Are you equipped to navigate the storm of rejection, indifference or alienation?

4. ADAPTATION: Transformation is a progressive journey that demands strategic change and adaptation. The willingness to fail along that journey is a must... there is always a period of incubation and a learning curve to navigate during decision-making or when contemplating change or transformation. Risk and growth require patient nurturing while the new is sculpted. Most times the loss hurts. Can you live with that pain, learn, get up and go again? If so, definitely take the risk. Fingers crossed. Your institution has got this.

5. OPTIMIZATION:  The risk factor is ultimately based on what you can live with or what you are willing to die for? That is the boundary that confines or liberates you in regards to how far you are willing to elevate the ceiling and stretch your mind to the desired outcome. Put all these elements into place and enjoy the rewards of your risks and transformation.

Learn more in the two book:

FLYING BEYOND THE NET leveraging your creativity to grow your wings

Sincerely.

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