Finding and Understanding Who You Really Are

Discovering the self is no easy feat. We rarely take the time to be deeply introspective to understand who we were, what we like, what we stand for, what we need, what we desire, why we make the choices we do… the list go questions is endless.

In taking the time to understand the essence of who you are (your core values), you will find many answers to why certain things in your life happened based on the choices you take. You will understand some of the choices you’ve made regarding friendships, your partner, work and career etc. Most, kind of know their core values but haven’t really dissected them, empowering you to optimize them and elevate the essence of your character and personality.

Knowing and identifying your “north star” and your sense of purpose, will provide you with so much clarity moving forward in life. This activity has helped so many of personal coaching clients, leaders/executive clients and teams). You’ll find it in my book THINK LIKE AN ARTIST.

Here is a list of the top 30 recurring core values.

1.         Efficiency

2.         Balance

3.         Fairness

4.         Creativity

5.         Hard Work

6.        Learning

7.        Competence

8.        Compassion

9.        Community

10.     Security

11.      Loyalty

12.      Status

13.      Charity

14.      Teamwork

15.      Friendship

16.      Adventure

17.       Freedom

18.      Boldness

19.      Success

20.    Authority

21.      Recognition

22.     Spirituality

23.     Humility

24.    Diversity

25.     Humor

26.    Kindness

27.     Optimism

28.    Empathy

29.    Fun

30.    Accountability

Review them and eliminate 10 of them. You should have 20 left over.

Write those 20 on a digital or hard copy note pad.

Take those 20 Core Values you selected and narrow them down to 10!

Write those 10 on a digital or hard copy note pad.

But wait, there’s more! Let’s really do down the rabbit hole.

Look carefully at your list of 10 Core Values.

Do they define you?

Do you live by them?

If so, congrats.

If not, it could mean you are not living authentically. Adjust accordingly.

Down the wormhole we go!

Take those 10 Core Values you selected and narrowthem down to only 4! Yes, only 4.

A tip to help you narrow them down to only 4. You will find that some Values overlap. For example, compassion and empathyare very similar, so one could be eliminated. Same with charity and community.Write those 4 on a digital or hard copy note pad.

Even better, frame them.

That’s the essence of who you are!

Live by these last four core values. They define your character or personal brand. They will be your compass in any decision or choices you make moving forward. Align your life with the true authentic essence of who you are, and you will find deep inner harmony.

Know thyself.  Become thyself.

Vital Germaine

Interested in personal coaching?

What exactly is success and how do you know when you are successful?

The common accepted definition of success is; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. If you google success you’ll come across more elaborate explanations like this one:

Your individual definition of what success is may vary, but many might define it as being fulfilled, happy, safe, healthy, and loved. It is the ability to reach your goals in life, whatever those goals may be.

At very young ages we are told or programmed to perceive success as winning a metaphorical trophy; an achievement. However, many people have achieved much in their lives, yet they don’t feel successful. And in contrast, I know some people who have “achieved” very little, yet they feel fulfilled, accomplished… successful.

Success is a very subjective thing.

We each pursue different milestones or accolades to validate our worth; a degree, getting the hot girl/boy, driving the fancy car, getting a promotion, making money… but if we go deeper, the pursuit of all those “things” are simply to make us feel a certain way. We are emotional beings. We are attracted to that which makes us feel: good, secure, loved, welcome, at peace and whole. We choose a partner because of how they make us feel, not because of how we feel about them (dig deeper into yourself and you’ll see the truth in this).

As long as we focus on “things” to define our success, we will constantly be in hot pursuit of the next high. And it’s exactly the next high that we crave. We’ve all heard of retail therapy, right? Those purchases make us feel good; high. They are, however, short-term feel-good factors… shallow, superficial and not meaningful or replenishing to our soul.

Most keynote speakers, life coaches and employee development trainers I’ve exchanged notes with, provide their clients with “X” amount of steps to make more money, to have more influence, to build self confidence, resilience etc. How many of them encourage clients and audiences to simply live authentically, find purpose, fulfillment, inner peace and happiness in who they are or wish to become… not, WHAT they want to become, but WHO. When we live in alignment with our true identity, our character, our values, objectives and our emotional state surrounded by love and connection, then we live in a successful and fullfilled mind state.

This level of personal development is my focus in my keynotes and employee development trainings and workshops. It’s about the individual becoming a better version of themselves so they can REACH HIGHER. When they reach higher, your organization benefits… your customers’ feel that.

Success is ultimately the feeling of feeling good about yourself and the life you lead. For some, it’s as simple as a log cabin away from everybody and with minimal possessions. For others, it’s a big big house and plenty of toys.

We are all pursing the same thing… a feeling of goodness. The material things help provide that feeling. But it’s the deep spiritual feeling of being at “home” we desire, and that can be achieved in multiple ways, including with minimal possessions but a richness of living and giving.

Start focusing inward on what makes you feel good about yourself; it will lead to happiness, inner peace and fulfillment; now that’s ultimate success in life. Success is something to be designed and created in the heart, not purchased.

If you agree/disagree, or would like to add to this blog, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment and make sure to follow me on social media for more inspiration and tips to help you grow.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine