How to become and reveal the real you
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Removing our mask to show the world who we truly are is potentially one of the biggest self-imposed hurdles humans face. It takes some serious courage to be ourselves and live authentically.
We are continually bombarded by social norms and pressured by the expectations of those we value. We want to fit in, be accepted and loved. The painful irony is that if people only love our mask, then they can never truly love us. And that hurts. This toxic dilemma of the human condition invites loneliness. It denies our inability to connect on a deeper and more meaningful level with the many that need the true us. If we are all pretending, then wow, what a long play to watch and be in. Do we really have time for that?
Superficial convos at the water cooler or the bar during happy-hour serve a great purpose. They initiate an opportunity to experience more depth. Here’s the ugly double-faced side of that coin. Yes, we expanded our network and zone of influence, all the while, we present a “fake” personal brand to somebody, and now we have to keep up that facade, less be judged for being fake… OH, THE TRAGIC IRONY of wanting to make a good impression and be liked and accepted. But wait, there’s more…
Imagine a world where you showed up as you… FREE. Imagine a world where you were okay, confident and empowered to be you, void of social trepidation, not concerned, or having to impress, or keep up with the 4.7 BILLION Jones’ on social media. Wow, that’s a lot of people to impress and try to influence. Why impress them all? Why not impress the like-minded individuals whose purpose and journey compliment yours. If you were financially wealthy as hell, you’d be more inclined to take off your mask. Imagine the healthy boundaries you’d set. Imagine the people you’d eliminate from your life. Imagine the BS you wouldn’t put up with. Imagine how you’d live… damn, how cool would that be?
Over the years, I have found myself admiring those who live life unapologetically with balls the size of… well, balls that are larger than life. People love them or hate them, and they are fine with that. They say what they feel. They express their values and beliefs. They make enemies. They find meaningful, life-long relationships. Why, because when we honor, protect and honor our values, we attract that. If you interact with people with the same values, you will find you can disagree without experiencing fundamentally divisive situations.
BTW, I don’t like some of those authentic people and need to keep them far away from me, but I respect and admire them for their candor: Madonna, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk… and a few a-holes in my life that you don’t know, and probably don’t want to know (unless your values align).
This philosophy of pure honest expression and living, doesn’t mean being reckless, lacking compassion and awareness as to how your words or actions could devastate others. In your freedom and authenticity, be kind and respectful. Know when to speak and share. Know when to keep quiet for the greater good. Just don’t pretend. Pretending is manipulation. Pretending is deceit. Pretending is lying. Maybe that’s why the world has become more depressed. We are all lying, knowing that our own truth is not quite as “glamorous’ as our contrived reality or character suggests. We can lie to others but never to ourselves.
When we lie to ourselves, it becomes hard to trust ourselves. It becomes hard to look in the mirror and be proud of our character. An element of shame and guilt will slowly invade our psyche. We are then tempted to lie even more to convince ourselves of what we are pretending to be is real. But we know. The cycle repeats and repeated. We entertain destructive behaviors and develop negative habits to help us deny the shadows. That is not only emotionally and intellectually exhausting, it exhausts the soul, and who really wants that kind of #$%@ in their lives?
It’s harder, but much more simple to be you. Take off your mask.
Take off your mask and you will invite happiness through your authenticity.
Long term, the right people will find you. Long term, you will find love. Long term you will experience the sense of belonging all humans crave; even the extreme introverts will. Take off your mask and you will invite happiness through your authenticity. You may cry a few tears as you shed your fake skin, and your fake friends. It will be worth it in the end.
If you need or want to begin that journey, check out the FREE resources on my website. They are designed to bring you value. If you are ready to do a deep dive into self transformation, connect with me to set up a complimentary discovery session to see if you are a good coaching client that I can help.
Sincerely,
VITAL ‘inspire’ GERMAINE: designing resilient mindsets that reach higher
Mindset Coach, speaker, consultant & 6-time Author
